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Your GrepoNews investigative reporters have been hard at work. They've dug deeper into the inner workings and camaraderie of the Premium Gold and Private Mail alliances. In this second report, we are focusing on the recruiting process, recruit training and interaction between members. We've gathered some disturbing information, so please be advised, this report is not for the feint of heart.
Regarding recruiting, Founder Milos has explained that candidates are put through an intensive interview and testing process. He explained that in elite age specific alliances such as PG/PM, have room for only the most active, intelligent and courageous recruits. He also explained that diet is important: "We've had some bad experiences."
There are all types of recruits and some just can't handle the pressure.
Those who crack under teasing, are quickly sent away. Those who can handle that, are moved on to other testing.
And finally on to our final test. Swimming with Krull and Fistneck.
Those who fail any of the later tests are considered pretenders and are dealt with harshly.
Some are fed to boxer Mike Tyson
If Mike is full, the remainder are fed to the animals at the PGPM Feeding Zoo.
Lastly, those who almost made the grade but still failed to measure up, are given a chance to ride "The Shredder".
Those who pass the interview and selection process are sent to GoldMail Camp for training. Here they receive specialized training in:
TARGET IDENTIFICATION
CITY CONQUERING
AND PROPAGANDA INDOCTRINATION
Milos and Miknel expressed their high stress level at maintaining calm within their alliances. The number of arguments, tantrums and fights are mind numbing. The reasons and causes of them are too numerous to list. One would think we had an alliance of toddlers or something.
Some of the arguments are simple and relatively simple to resolve.
And this is how we believe French Kissing originated.
The female members seem better able to handle these frequent disagreements
The boys not so much.
When both genders are involved, the ladies are more willing to:
FORGIVE
SPEAK PLAINLY
The boys, not so forgiving.
