Agony Aunt - 17!

  • Thread starter Sapphire Sorrows
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Sapphire Sorrows

Only two questions this week –remember if you want to keep seeing the Agony Aunt you’re going to have to send in a question!

Hello Miss Sorrows.

I was merely musing to myself the other day about the best way to go about being a n00b.

I was curious, as I am the King N00b, (as voted for by my peers), how could i better myself so that my time in reign is forever remembered as the golden time of n00bs?

My Heir to the throne (who cannot be named for fear of jealousy-based attacks) would also admire any tips you have too.

Yours truly and forever thankful,
HRH King N00b I

To His Royal Highness King N00b I

Greetings and felicitations. I hope this response find his majesty in good health. I am honoured that you would ask me to advise you on such a matter.
In view of this honour, I feel there are a few tips I may give you.
1. Always dress appropriately. You have station, and class. Use both to your advantage – especially in PnP’s. Cover your slingers in glitter and shine.
2. You need to exude confidence. For an example, check out This Guy. As long as you put energy into it, you will never look like you are failing. Even if you are, because you are a n00b.
3. Publicity. Wills and Kate didn’t get famous by staying inside the palace all day doing nothing. Parade your troops around some towns, take a few royal tours and be sure to keep people donating to your favourite foundations.
4. Make everything official. Sign everything with your “legal” title and Make sure to be most formal. You may try slipping into some Shakespearean language to expand your vocabulary.
I can hardly assume to be the best authority here, but I do hope my words may in someway help you and your heir in the future years of your reign.

~Aunt Sapphire.

Hey Sapphy, I've got a question for ya right out of the oven. Is there an organization in each server that teaches/protects all the noobs? Cause without noobs we can't possibly have good players later in the game right? Usually noobs get discouraged by good aggressive players that conquer them and so they quit. We obviously don't want players quiting cause that takes the fun away. So much like the AANF is there a "universal" noob training facility/group/alliance for all the young bucks out there? It'd cease my mind to know that we have noobs that we later can truly play against when they're good.
Concerned Benefactor.

Dear C.B.

I think the best way I can answer this is to delve into the A.A. of ages past, and bring forth a Question and answer from the original Agony Aunt series.

Hi Aunt -- since you don't seem to busy with mail here's one for you. I've really enjoyed your column!!!

Help .

I'm in an MRA and I can't get out! I joined when they asked me really politely and when I was to much of a noob to know the difference between an MRA and an alliance. Now they're saying I can't leave because if I do they'll consider it an act of war and they will come after me with all the sh*t they have and nuke my polis back to the stone age. I've thought about everything including a change of identity with transgender surgery (although I don't know if Hippocrates is actually licensed to do that sort of thing). I can't think of a single way out of my dilemma. Am I stuck in this MRA forever? Is there simply NO EXIT?

Jean-Paul S.

Jean-Paul S,

Do not fear! There is a way out. Through this wonderful link, you can work your way through this dreadful problem.

This link could be very helpful, and I do suggest when you leave your MRA alliance you post in their forum and save as many members as you can.

Do not be afraid of any threats, MRA’s do not have the bite behind their bark. Feel free to join a better alliance. The most any MRA can do is send a few God Power attacks and maybe a wave of Briemes and Swords. Should worst come to worst, and there is an actual Grepolis player in your MRA, be sure to refer them to the ‘Save a n00b’ campaign. They should see the error of their ways and may even join you in your exodus.

Never Fear, there is hope ahead.

~Aunty Sapphie


A special Treat, this time around I have an interview for you!
The somewhat infamous and sharp witted chrisg2003bt joins me today in my sitting room :)

So, Chris, first we should get the most important question out there – in the open so everyone knows.

….How do you take your tea?

Im not really a tea drinker. :O Shock i know. Unfortunately i just love my energy drinks far too much. Ive discovered you can only stay awake in my basement, staring at this screen, for so long before needing a red bull.

Good, slightly worrying - but okay to the next question then, given the changes in Pella recently, with a lot of big (if not good) players leaving, what would be your predictions on the core for the next 4 weeks?

BOM are really being hit hard, despite their claims that we are only taking their inactives we are taking alot of their active players cities as well. This along with the fact we are destroying any CS they manage to sneak into a city and they are on a pretty long rebuild. So id definitely predict BOM falling lower in the rankings. Further-afield i would say The Shadow League and Dark Knights will continue to rise up the rankings, as both have been doing well against their enemies. (@tommy: Without any help, whatsoever, from MOS i might add).

Are there any alliances in the rim that are catching your eye?

Ive had a few alliances keep in touch with me since i sent out that ridiculous mass mail to pella a month or so ago. One of which is Fight Club, who seem to be taking on Play for Keeps and DOOM singlehandedly. Other than that i dont pay too much attention to the rim alliances at the moment. Most of them are at war with MOS anyway since we put them on the rim in the first place. :)

Do you have any words of inspiration for those who claim Pella is dead, regardless of the potential we’ve discussed today?

Chrisg2003bt: Many of the occupants of Pella believe this world to be dead (myself included not so long ago.). Alot of active players leaving usually means a certain loss of potential fun. I would say this however, there are still alot of active players left in Pella.. ones which MOS has yet to reach and ones which are slowly growing further out on the rim. There will be more wars to be fought and if people can stick through the hard times then they will be rewarded with the fun times which are still to come in Pella. I know ill be here for WW, and i expect to see Iminmypajamas here too. Seeing as hes the #1 player from Pi, i think i heard that somewhere anyway? ;)


Please send in those questions, and keep fighting J its up to us to keep both Pella and Pella’s external forum alive!

~Auntie Sapphie


Nah...he rather looks like an arrogant lad who...-Oh, hi chris, we were just... Oh wait...we can talk it out can't w...BAM
Oh :p

Couldn't resist it...

Nice AA again however saphie!!
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I think that this Chris guy is awesome lol
awesome AA Sapphy :)


We love our Auntie and we are glad she has returned to us.

Sapphire Sorrows

I never left my friend, just went shopping for a while ;)

Sapphire Sorrows

Not unless your posting more threads than me :)

I'm a lot smaller in game, but i do have somewhat of a presence on the forum, no?


Lol love the fact you mentioned me chris :D its not like tsl have to worry about me posting some awesome PnPs anymore now that i,ve had to retire from the game :( oh well hopefully pella will get some badly needed activity.


I just got +rep from jorvisa. If i don't get +rep from the MOS players then I'm feeding you to BOM.

LOL jk.. BOM can't kill anyone right now. 1/3rd of them are inactive, 1/3rd are in VM and they rest are leaving and forming alliances or getting rejected from joining MOS. hahaha.

:cool: :pro:

Sapphire Sorrows

I would just like to post a reminder to everyone - please send in questions :)

Fist Of The North Star

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Dear agony neutral sexed family member,

I have been holding this back for weeks, NO! months actually. My problem is that my slingers are homeless, my hops wont fight anything because they love each other. I just realized that the horsemen are infact half man/half unicorn beings (i know right...i thought their legs where just hidden in the avatar, imagine my shock when i decided to go meet one for the first time) that poop everywhere.

This is only the tip of the iceberg! My spies have leprosy (my mistake, i thought they were just ugly). I discovered Asterix and Obelix on board a trireme the other day (lol no i didn't, no one uses triremes).

On top of all this. more than anything...I cannot stop listening to this song while i attack WAR!

i hope you can help
I discovered Asterix and Obelix on board a trireme the other day (lol no i didn't, no one uses triremes).
I built some in Hyperborea the other day just in case someone ever said that no one ever uses triremes .. but I'm feeling much better now.

I should send them on tour in case no one has ever seen what one looks like:cool:

Sapphire Sorrows

FOTNS....I am sorry but i cannot reply to your well written letter as it is not an anonymous letter written in.
I did state in the original postings of AA that i would only answer those mails written in. Perhaps you should check out the A.A. Archive and read up a bit? :p

/end blatant self promotion.