Animal Farm II - A Purely Fictional Story

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WAVEBREAKER

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Once upon a time there was a community filled with two different races, which existed in harmony thanks to a unwritten respect and tolerance. This community survived due a symbiotic relationship between the two different races.

One race, the people, provided the energy and did the grunt work, planting the seeds, while the other race, the Popo, policed the streets and ensured every voice was heard.

This Utopian community survived for years in a perfectly happy relationship between the two races. The people ensured that the seeds were planted on time ensuring food and harmony for years to come as long as both races shared the food equally.

One day however, the skies went dark, and the birds stopped singing. And in the silence a virgin birth took place Rock Jr was born, to a very large woman known only in history as Mrs Rock.

Rock Jr was extremely ambitious and as he rose the community started splintering due to frequent disrespectful acts towards the people as well as his overly swollen ego. The perfect balance that had been sustained over decades was shattered. The people went into revolt and there were riots after riots, with the majority of the people fleeing the community for fear of persecution.

The majority of the Popo sided with the people and threw down their batons and fled the formerly Utopian society.

As the community drained Rock Jr remained. Currently as the story unfolds in this fictional community, Rock Jr. has taken over as Lord and insist the people bow and flatter at every opportunity, and is blinded by this and unable to see how his actions have jeopardized and broken apart a perfect symbiotic relationship resulting in ruin and anarchy.
 

a pebble

Strategos
Once upon a time there was a community filled with two different races, which existed in harmony thanks to a unwritten respect and tolerance. This community survived due a symbiotic relationship between the two different races.

One race, the people, provided the energy and did the grunt work, planting the seeds, while the other race, the Popo, policed the streets and ensured every voice was heard.

This Utopian community survived for years in a perfectly happy relationship between the two races. The people ensured that the seeds were planted on time ensuring food and harmony for years to come as long as both races shared the food equally.

One day however, the skies went dark, and the birds stopped singing. And in the silence a virgin birth took place Rock Jr was born, to a very large woman known only in history as Mrs Rock.

Rock Jr was extremely ambitious and as he rose the community started splintering due to frequent disrespectful acts towards the people as well as his overly swollen ego. The perfect balance that had been sustained over decades was shattered. The people went into revolt and there were riots after riots, with the majority of the people fleeing the community for fear of persecution.

The majority of the Popo sided with the people and threw down their batons and fled the formerly Utopian society.

As the community drained Rock Jr remained. Currently as the story unfolds in this fictional community, Rock Jr. has taken over as Lord and insist the people bow and flatter at every opportunity, and is blinded by this and unable to see how his actions have jeopardized and broken apart a perfect symbiotic relationship resulting in ruin and anarchy.
A decent tale. A bit boring, honestly. It isn't really relatable. Perhaps if you spelled out how the Utopia was dying before Rock Jr came along then it may make more sense. There isn't really any evidence supplied for us to blame Rock Jr. Also, it may help if you showed Rock Jr actually helping the community, like providing several outlets for them to voice the people's thoughts and opinions, but that the Utopia disregarded these and only saw what they didn't understand or perceived as bad. I'm fairly sure Rock Jr would have done something like that.

Rock Jr's swollen ego seems inflated beyond realistic means. Would you have any concrete examples of his ego being extreme which wouldn't also attribute to an attempt to better the community? That may help your reader make sense of this logically inconsistent story. And the Popo leaving due to Rock Jr seems odd. Could you give any examples? Show us the extremity of his egregious actions, if you can.

It seems like Rock Jr simply wants people to abide by the rules of the community. But it's your story and purely fictional, so must not represent any actions done by anyone we know.
 

Rhizome9

Hipparchus
Would you have any concrete examples of his ego being extreme...
Sadly some Grepo alliances have players who are very much an example of this!

One could also argue that in some Societies, the most prized nature of being is the accumulation of material wealth by individuals, which is linked on the privileging of individual egos. Hence, one could possibly look upon the story as a form of analogy of the dangers of societies that privilege individualism over collectivism?
 

TFinn

Guest
... swollen ego seems inflated beyond realistic means.
Once again a pebble has displayed his unparalleled incisive analysis and clearly focussed on the major allegory contained in wavebreakers stunningly apposite tale :D

If only Archon of Corinth were able to comment I am sure that he would agree ;)

I just want to know why a police force is need in a Utopia.
hahahaha.....For those who don't know CoD is really ....
 

a pebble

Strategos
Once again a pebble has displayed his unparalleled incisive analysis and clearly focussed on the major allegory contained in wavebreakers stunningly apposite tale :D
Apposite? But I was assured this was purely fiction. I'd sure hate to close this were I to suddenly discover it's about moderation.
 

WAVEBREAKER

Guest
Apposite? But I was assured this was purely fiction. I'd sure hate to close this were I to suddenly discover it's about moderation.
As the author I find it bizarre how you're asking the readers if the story is fictional or not.
 

WAVEBREAKER

Guest
Oh, my bad. He was suggesting that it related to something. If this is fiction, as you claim, it certainly can't be found in real life.
Oh it can be found.

I believe there are 3rd world countries that could fit the scenario described in this fictitious prose quite nicely.
 
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