The White House announded today plans to severely cut the budget for the Central Intelligence Agency. According to a government spokesperson, "The budgets over there are just ridiculous and it is time to stop wastefully throwing money down a bottomless hole."
Reaction to the announcement were mixed. Republicans pointed to the decision as yet more evidence of an executive branch that wants to let the terrorists win. "You can never spend too much money safeguarding the lives of our families," said one senator. However, Democrats point to the tremendous good that could have been done in the past with that gold. "For just pennies a day, we could be feeding families rather than rolling up the dumptruck and filling up a monstrosity that is practically worthless in the day-to-day lives of our people.
Experts on the subject agreed that a secure intelligence network reduces the chances of attack. However, there was a concensus that the size of the intelligence branch is often irrationally large. In fact, most would cut the budget except for one thing. "What else are you gonna use that gold for," said a budget expert. "Our people don't eat anything and there's no need for a social infrastructure. Our people build buildings, raise armies and that's it. Once you've done those things, you end up with all this gold sitting around. If not for the 'hole,' that gold would just go to waste."