DNN News

DeletedUser

Guest
Daft Science Advisors Visit Elvis to Learn Intense Secret of Ultra Efficient Vacation mode Peace:p

Kidnapped Daft leader "Radiers" Resists Instruction to Film Ultimate Erotic Godzilla Film and xxx remake of Forest Gump:p

Pirates Drive Away NOE Colony ship During Pirate Hijacking Attempt.

40% of Elvis cities Flooded in Aftermath of Daft Attacks Last Week.:pro:
 

DeletedUser11468

Guest
"DAFT will someday break treaty and fight uNmEek"

Conspiracy? Or is it false Propaganda, created by smaller alliances to split DAFT And uNmEek?

Amorelus was able to catch up with jjalsmelton for an interview while he was strangling and an Elvis citizen and torching their homes.

"Have you heard of this rumor? Mr jj"

"That's no news to me. Infact I expect them to do so someday. Just how we may some day. This is a war game you know. When you run out of alliances to fight, all you have left is the strong"

I caught Mad Rappa from DAFT picking lice off his wife's head and eating it and asked him for an interview. He said won't accept unless I give him a banana which I did.

"Did you hear about this 'secret'"

"eee eee, no secret. Not a secret of DAFT or uNmEek fighting someday. Better question is when..."

"There you have it folks. The smaller alliances spread information they thought was a secret when it is widely known fact by DAFT and uNmEek citizens."

STOP THROWING POO AT ME. stupid monkies.
 

DeletedUser11468

Guest
DNN POLICE REPORT

8:11 AM: Ocean 34 Daft members passed out drunk from a night of partying
9:25 AM: ELVIS member wanders in the streets of DAFT. A gang of DAFT members beats the ELVIS citizen senseless. Files a report to the police. Claiming it was the local DAFT police who beat him. DAFT Police proudly admit to the beating. Gives the ELVIS more beating at the station.
10:34 AM: Medical Emergency - DAFT tosses poo at jjalsmelton, to challenge him to a poo throwing contest. jj uses fresh poo after a night of burritos and refried beans. DAFT members passes out from the stinky poo. 911 made to EMT.
12:43 PM: ELVIS crosses DAFT borders, surving the dense landfields placed. The few survivors in their rags, begs to enter DAFT. DAFT border police decides to laugh and force them to march back accross the mine field they barely survives
2:33 PM: UN files complaint that DAFT storms the UN HQ and rewrites the Geneva Convention to "What ever DAFT wants, DAFT GETS. uNmEek too"
5:10 PM: Mad Rappa reported running out in the streets naked with a pokemon cape. Screaming "You are doomed...doomed...doomed. You are all doomed"
8:31 PM: Dinobites bites an Elvis. Infects him with rabies
9:22 PM: Numerous reports from DAFT of strange stench from uNmEek. Politely ask jjalsmelton to stop having burrito night.
11:05 PM: Elvis files report. Wanted to go to a Daft party. Claims Daft members robbed the Elvis party goer and laughs at him as they thrown him out.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
"DNN Special Report with DinoBites"

DNN: Good Evening DinoBites. Was wondering if you were able to take the latest elvis victim out of your mouth and give us a few words?

Dino: " RAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRR ..... I Suppose 'spits out a poor elvis's head"

DNN: Is it true that You have left no Surviving Victims in every town that has come in your path?

Dino: "DINO HUNGRY!!! VERY HUNGRY!"

DNN: You look more like King Kong then an avg. monkey, are you taking a controlled substance?

Dino: "GRRR Ask Mad Rappa. Mad Rappa Give Me Great Medicine, Mad Rappa throw poo on me!"

DNN: Is it not true that u bit off a Amorelus's Tail and made his Great Mistress vanish?

Dino: DINO HUNGRY, DINO NEED FOOD!

DNN: Do you not like banana's? Or do you only eat people?

Dino: DINO HUNGRY, ME... WANT... AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

DNN: EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK, RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR @#$@#% LIFE!!!

Dino: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, YUM! DINO WANT MORE MEDICINE!
 

DeletedUser11468

Guest
BREAKING NEWS: DAFT IS GETTING TIRED OF BABY ALLIANCES REQUESTING PACTS

As a warning DAFT has made these public announcements to all alliances not listed on the first page.

1. If you send a pact request, you will be denied and declared enemy.
2. If you use a DAFT member name or DAFT, Monkey, or Daft as your name. You will be declared enemy.
3. If you messages us to chit-chat, we will ignore and set you as enemy.
4. If you exist on our borders, or within our realm. You will be set as enemy.
5. If you request to join us, we will laugh at you and set you as enemy.
6. If you announce your existance to us. We will find you and set you as enemy.
7. We do not make treaties with small alliances. Be realistic. There's no benefit for us at all. We do not babysit.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Breaking News!

DAFT are nearly at the stage of claiming the throne. Elvis has left the building but DAFT are there at the stage exit.

I caught up with Lord Shler as he was drinking his beer on the royal tree stump: 'You must be proud of what DAFT have done?'
'Whaaa? Whaa are DIFT doing?'

Ohh you forgot to tell Lord Shler what happened! :p
 

DeletedUser

Guest
DNN SPECIAL REPORT!!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Hello, we are Live From Atlantis with a breaking news report!

It has seemed that DAFT has gotten so bored that they are starting to fight themselves and fight over the nice sized EMPTY elvis towns... DJ Lecksa was the latest victim to fall apon the Tight Dirty Monkey Grip of DAFT

it seems Mad Rappa and Atlantis were seeing who could destroy it the fastest and ended up taking it too far, there was mass Death on both sides as ships were sunk to the bottom of the sea.

DNN: Atlantis, now are the rumors true about what was being transported on your ships ?

Atlantis: "Me have special Treasure for me friend Mad Rappa! Me NOT KNOW those were Mad Rappa Secret Service Protecting, Me get excited and think Elvis, not notice monkey poo on Previous Elvis Flag"

DNN: So what WAS this Treasure you speak of?

Atlantis: "Me do not tell you What! But Elvis know!! It something Special!"


DNN News Insider tells us that this "secret treasure" is a WMD (weapons massively disgusting) And have some importance to an upcoming mission against the Queens (i mean kings)

Our DAFT insider also explains to us that since the recent take over there has been dive teams in the water all day looking for this "WMD"

Now although we have not concrete evidence to support our thesis... we do know it has something to do with an upcoming massive mission against someone, im presuming Elvis.... is their final death near? Stay tuned for further information!

Crusty Beaver Signing off
DNN
 

DeletedUser

Guest
...

DAFT - Elvis Diplomat meeting

DAFT diplomat jw711 appears very pleased with the condition of the cities that Elvis is handing over. He asked however Elvis to invest in bigger harbors. "It takes new DAFT owners too long to build new clonory ships" he stated. jw711 offered the Elvis diplomat a banana as a diplomatic present.

---> And now we turn to the news as reported from the ENA (Elvis News Agency) --->


New armaments shipment!

At least, the new shipment of spears arrived from DAFT cities. The new weapons has been swiftly distributed to the Elvis army across the country. Don't be confused by the their funny shape. Trusted DAFT sources ensure us that it is due to the new state of the art "boomerang" technology!

Change in Chief and Strategy

After being a clear disappointment, the general of the Republic of Elvis wa fired and replaced by a new highly promising figure. The new general wishes his identity to remain secret as he is afraid of overwhelming DAFT attacks. The new strategy is already being implemented as more and more Elvis players enter vacation mode day by day.

Reports of Backfiring

New spears appears to cause severe injuries in series of backfiring accidents. The health minister advises Elvis players to wear helmets while throwing the new high tech weapons. Thus a new shipment of helmets has been ordered from DAFT.

Shortage in Travel Destinations

The quick disappearance of travel destinations is causing major unrest to the citizens. The majority of Elvis that is in vacation mode faces a big dilemma. Spend their last silver coins on luxurious ex-Elvis destinations abroad or settle with a trip to the 3k points domestic villages?

...
 

DeletedUser

Guest
DNN new update...... we doing it big... we doing it like no others.. so @#$#$u r mothers DAFT is the best!
 

DeletedUser

Guest
DNN Weekly Digest

DNN caught up with Daft Leader AMO and asked him what made him so great:
AMO said: "My rule is: If you meet the weakest vessel, attack. If it is a vessel equal to yours, attack. And if it is stronger than yours, also attack. Bananas and beer stuck together makes a dangerous molotov cocktail. The flames can be seen for miles."
......................................Urgent: Elvis Spotted!!!
Elvis has sent in orders to redesign unit patches that say "I surrender" in several dozen foreign languages.

All Elvis ships have changed ships mottos to "You have to go out out. You don't have to come back."
Some Elvis players are moving to a new server as not to be attacked anymore.
Server name "SAFE HARBOR" no LS or C/S Allowed. Only bolts".
 
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