A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony, and it is being played backwards! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrived back, the music had changed. Now it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece it is being played backwards. Curious, the men go to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing backwards. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed. By the next day the word has spread and a crowd has gathered around the grave, all listening to the Second Symphony being played backwards. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles into the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about," say the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"
A man was robbed last night. So he went to buy a guard dog from the nearby pet shop. The pet shop had a ferocious dog for sale, and the man thought the dog was perfect. So he asks the pet shop owner how much for that dog. The pet shop owner replies "Oh I can't sell you that dog, he's best friends with this parrot. It would devastate them both to be separated."
"I'll take them both then," the man replies. So he goes home with a new parrot and guard dog.
Later that night, the robber returns. He begins to climb up a tree to the same window he used last time. As he is climbing the tree, he hears an eerie voice say "Jesus is watching you." Slightly confused, he continues to climb the tree. He reaches the branch closest to the window, and hears an eerie voice say "Jesus is watching you." Even more confused, and slightly worried, he looks in the window and sees the parrot, who eerily says "Jesus is watching you."
Relieved, the robber thinks "It's just a religious parrot, nothing to worry about."
The robber opens the window and goes in. He takes one step and hears "Sic 'im Jesus!"