King of the FREAKING Hill


Well now, where to begin (1st forum post!)...
As a Englishman I challenge baermann to a bout of fisticuffs. Unfortunately for him he expected me to play by the Marquis de Fantallier rules of boxing, however as this had not been agreed upon One delivered a steel toe capped boot to his family jewels. Shocked by the wanton destruction of valuable property baermann departs the hill to inform the proper authorities.
After many minutes of wandering he finds the decapitated corpse of our dear endothermic flying lizard moderator whom he proceeds to Fus Ro Dah! back to life. Following an awquard jerky framerate reanimation, IcedDragon is prepared to hear his tale, but right at that moment an arrow flew at him from the recurved combine bow of the Bow Master (he would have arrived earlier but was chatting with legolas about hair products. Beacuse he's worth it.) In agony Baermandav limps away, never to claim a hill again, though he loves to tell tales to the youngsters of his town, "I used to be an hill claimer like you, until I took an arrow to the knee". A sweetcake usually calms him down.
Meanwhile, thanks to some spiffing intel through from some RAF chums of mine I am aware of the many potential adversaries to my new lofty domicile. I prepare my bringing Raid for the arachnids, sausages for the puppies, unicorns for the Narwhale, the Tears of Elune for the ghosty devil, and sigourney weaver for the alien.
Believing myself prepared for any eventuality I sit down for tea and cucumber sandwiches with the Queen, who ever so politely points out that this is My Freaking Hill, What!


I return from nothingless, since I am nothingless and then return to being all of you and everything, therefore it is impossible to kill me with anything since I am that thing. Booyah. I then kill myself and thenresurrect from death, which I am, and become the hill once more.


I will use my necromancer powers to banish Kyleli from this world never to return again to this thread.

Toasting marshmallows in the fiery breath of the dragon on a much nicer hill in the distance, laughing hysterically at all the squabbling over what is becoming a bitter hill to swallow