King of the hill

[DeletedUser]

You are not worthy of the hill.

I take that as a sufficient reason for stealing it from you....

My army of gummy bears fall from the sky and squash you. They then carry you off to use you as a human sacrifice.

I cover the hill in liquid gold and sit on it happily. Somehow, It has become rather uncomfortable, so I get a beanbag chair and place it on the hill, sitting on it instead.

MY HILL

 

[DeletedUser18132]

I overpower the gummy bears and get Zeus to throw a lightning bolt at you. The gold explodes. MY HILL

 

[DeletedUser]

I scavenge and find lots of said gold, and then use it to hire some mercenaries. Whilst lying on your beanbag, wishing you'd brought a PC to the hill, I sneak up and fire an arrow. It hits you in the face, and you're like "Is someone there?" After a while, I'm undetected and you said "Huh, must'be been the wind". After some nice Skyrim references, I try sneaking again and slit your throat in the most gory way imaginable.

My hill? Yes.

Edit: Completely forgot about the mercenaries. They went on to star in such movies as "The 6th Jar of Jam", and "Whose hat is this".

 

[DeletedUser18132]

While you are struggling to drag up a couch(since the beanbag ripped), I throw a pebble out of an airplane above you. It hits you in the head and you go to the doctor. While you're there, I go to the recruitment office as you in disguise and sign you up. Since you don't show up because you're at the doctor, some guys go there and drag you to a car, put you in a truck, and ship you in a wooden box packed with yak butter for West Point. After months of training, you go to Afghanistan. Upon returning on leave, you find out that:
1. I managed to drag up the couch.
2. I sold all the gold and have a successful chain of night clubs.
3. You really REALLY hate yak butter.
4. I am sitting on the couch, watching TV and playing Grepolis on a Mac(brought on top of the hill by workers).
5. I am sitting with a shotgun waiting for you.
When you climb up the hill, I shoot you and you slowly and miserably bleed to death. I then take your blood and bottle it up as wine. I take your body and put it in a blender, and then bury it with my hired gourmet cook's many bad food experiments.

MY HILL

 

[DeletedUser]

I am utterly disgusted by your sanguinary acts of aggression. I must do something about it...

In order to avenge my beanbag chair and gummy bears, I gather the creatures of Narnia and send them upon you. Aslan roars at you and you pass out from fear. The talking creatures then take you to the nearest animal shelter and ask them to euthanize you if no one comes to adopt within a week.

I randomly destroy all your night clubs.

MY HILL!

Oh look, you left me a bottle of wine!

 

[DeletedUser]

I take your bottle of wine, and hit it over your head, i then steal the Olympic torch and use it to increase my defense on the hill.
MY HILL!!!

 

[DeletedUser]

See, this is the type of horrible aggressive behavior I am talking about. For Shame....

After I punch you in the face, I send you to Dr. Phil to undergo some serious therapy. Your mother spanks you and sends you to your room. You hug your teddy and cry for hours.

MY HILL

 

[DeletedUser]

My crying tears overflow the hill, drowning you.I then carry myself to the hill, and cry there.
MY HILL!!!!

 

[DeletedUser18132]

You forgot the couch. I hire two Mexican workers to set it down on your head. Your head bursts. MY HILL

 

[DeletedUser]

Hades grants me another head, for drowning an enemy.I pay your mexicans more money, and ask them to hurt you.My hill

 

[DeletedUser18132]

You get so much -rep that you shamefully go live in the Amazon. MY HILL

 

[DeletedUser]

I kill the amazons,take their animals, and send them to bite you.You run off.My Hill.

 

[DeletedUser18132]

The Amazons(the tribe of women) is mythical, so still MY HILL.

 

[DeletedUser]

The Gods of the forum have decided that every post you have determines how many birds of prey are sent to attack you personally. Luckily, only 8xx birds attack me... Unfortunately for you, there's 3,504 of the buggers. You run away because you're Randy from My Name is Earl (he's afraid of birds) and run away from your hill. I grab my trusty screwdriver (Don't ask what I use it for, the answer will shock you), and sit a top the hill.

My Hill.

 

[DeletedUser]

Simply gives Kanga the evil glare...He backs away slowly and says "Take it , Take it!" Hahaha. I <3 You Kanga!

 

[DeletedUser]

I love you too Lane, but you never said you took the hill, even though I offered it (reluctantly) Apparently it's still my hill.... MY HILL DAMMIT.

 

[DeletedUser]

I spit on both of you, you run off.MY HILL.

 

[DeletedUser]

Killer of hell is abducted by The Care Bears and suddenly becomes full of love and goodness. He goes to frolic in a field of daisies while throwing rose petals frantically into the air. He then discovers that his new purpose in life is to hug every person he sees. Suddenly, he catches sight of Sharksboy and runs to him with his arms outstretched. Sharksboy runs away screaming and they both disappear off into the sunset.


MY HILL!

 

[DeletedUser]

I summon Dave Chappelle,Eddie Murphy,Eddie Griffin and Jim Carrey...They preform stand-up comedy if front of you...U laugh so hard and die...
MY HILL

 

[DeletedUser18132]

I hire them all for a stupid show but they take the roles anyway. With them gone, I walk up to you with a branding iron and put it on your seat just about when you are sitting down. While you are running a screaming bloody hell, I walk up and write my name on the hill(with red paint). MY HILL