I notice you're from Canada, so I get as much Canadian bacon as I can and put them in a cannon. I shoot them at you and you get blown away to a different planet. Haha how ironic, Canadian destroyed by it's own bacon....
so some guy shoots bacon at me and i end up on mars:heh: anyways, i trade the bacon to the martians for a favor. so with their freakin awesome futuristic time gun they turn you into a 2 year old. they were also kind enough to beam me back to earth, where I put you up for adobtion.
The memory of you and the time gun is burned into my head. When I grow back up again, I search the web for you and I find you. (Ah, the web can find anything ) I track you down and steal the time gun and teleport everyone back into this time. I then turn the setting on the time gun to death. It is now a death ray. I zap you and guess what...you die.
Ahhhhh, yes,one of the cliffs is indeed 1 inch tall. But I was talking about the other one, the 50 mile deep one.
EDIT: I didn't know Edward posted so I will change it.
The same squirrel that you threw has rabies and I make it go towards you. It turns out it is actually a zombie and it bites you and you become infected. So then the government swoops in and kill you to prevent the start of a zombie apocalypse.