Pnp Krypteians

Th3K1ndr3d

<img src="http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii226
Space... the final frontier. So many questions come to mind when we come out and gaze at the stars. Are we alone in the universe? Is the only intelligent species out there found here on Earth, leaving the billions of billions of planets barren and uninhabited?

I am here to give you the answer. The answer THEY don't want you to know.

What if I told you we're not alone in the universe?

There once was an alien race who inhabited a distant planet. Their world was covered with small islands capable of supporting up to twenty cities. They grew in numbers and multiplied until their own world could not support them anymore. They built ships and traveled far away into space. The first world they found was called Tau. Similarly to their own world, this planet was covered with small islands surrounded with water. They colonized this world and gradually eradicated the original inhabitants until THEY were the only ones left.

The history repeated itself. They moved on, built more ships and traveled until they found another planet that could support their civilization. This planet was called Earth, or as they call it - GELA.

Do you know who I'm talking about yet?


You've probably heard about them. You've heard the word. It's there at the back of your mind. You know what they do and you're scared.

I'm here to tell you that you don't need to be, because we're here. We are the freedom fighters. We are the ones who will free us all. We are the only thing that stands between you and THEM. The only thing that stands between you and complete annihilation. We are OCEANS VETERANS.


As for the aliens, there are many different species and forms. I will show you their most common ones and list some of the names they usually use.

  • Species 001.
    Description: The first one calls himself KSlay, but our agents have reported him using the name Hades4765 as well. He might not look like much at the first glance. He might even be friendly. But make no mistake! His ultimate goal is the enslavement or destruction of human race.
    Weakness: To survive an encounter with this type of alien you need to think fast. Before it says its first words and ensnares you into submission you need to point out your index finger, pretend that you're a doctor and say: "Look at my finger and follow it, please." For some reason this creature can't resist this. Draw circles in the air with your finger until the creature becomes dizzy and throws up. Use the distraction to escape.

  • Species 002.
    Description:The next one is a very dangerous one. The aliens call it soul.fire. We're not sure where the name comes from. This alien species seems peaceful and harmless. Cute even. But only until it unleashes its deadly tentacles. Many poor victims have found themselves strangled and crushed in its deadly embrace.
    Weakness: This species likes music and is especially vulnerable to lullabies. If you find yourself under attack by this alien all you need to do is sing a lullaby and wait for it to fall asleep.

  • Species 003.
    Description: The following alien species is notoriously known in our world. Some intelligence and peace-keeping agencies have had their share of experience with this individual and have placed him on the list of most wanted criminals in the world, not knowing he comes from outer space. He goes by the name of SonOfMacedon and if you look carefully at his face you will see the "feature" that makes him so easy to identify when not wearing disguise.
    Weakness: If you find yourself within reach of this individual get ready for some serious action. The only way to survive an encounter with this species is to tickle its "facial feature" until it laughs so hard it will fall to the ground. Use the precious few seconds to escape.


  • Species 004.
    Description: This next guy is an animal. Steer clear of him if you want to live. He will attack anything that moves and is wanted for numerous missing persons cases. As our operatives discovered, he attacks even his own species when angered. Very dangerous. Name: kostrc.
    Weakness: Lucky for you our scientists have discovered that this spieces calms down quickly when a baby pacifier is inserted in its mouth. This discovery has saved many of our agents' lives and baby pacifiers have since become a standard issue equipment for our field agents.

  • Species 005.
    Description: This next species is quite something. It's not really that dangerous, but it just won't shut up. It can talk talk talk and ta-ta-talk and then talk some more. We suspect that the alien race uses this species to distract us from our just fight for freedom. It goes by many names, but the most commonly used ones are jorisva, nilmoni and juschemon.
    Weakness: So far we've discovered only one means of self-defense against this species: Waldo. No, it's not a joke. All you need is a "Where's Waldo?" book. Give it to the alien and ask him "Where's Waldo?" For some reason, this species can spend days looking for him. Funny thing is, they can never find him.


  • Species 006.
    Description: We're not sure what the purpose is of this next species. They've been spotted traveling around Earth without any obvious goal in mind. We gave them the nickname Nomads. They're most commonly spotted in disguise crossing borders between countries. This could be an attempt to spy on us. Goes by the name The Heed.
    Weakness: All you need to do is yell from the top of your lungs: "Stop right there, this is the border patrol!" If you do that, this species will remain motionless for hours, giving you enough time to escape. Don't forget to get a magic marker and draw a mustache on their face while you're at it.

  • Species 007.
    Description: We were unable to establish the purpose of this following species. We think they might be randomly placed around the world to observe. In other words, to eavesdrop and spy on us. It goes by the name Oxmyx.
    Weakness: This species is a heavy sleeper. If you're seen by one, remain still and motionless for a few minutes. The alien will lose its focus and forget you're there. It will eventually fall asleep. When sleeping, this alien will not wake up no matter what. You could invade entire cities of them and they would never notice.

So that's it. Now you know the truth. Now you know what we're dealing with every day here and why your support is important. If you see an OCEANS VETERANS operative in the field, do what you can to help them out. They don't do this for themselves. They do it for you. They do it for your freedom. They fight for the human race.


I know I said that you need to know, but I can see you might not be ready yet. Please pay attention and carefully look at the tip of this device...


Kindred out.
 
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Kslay

Guest
I only want to enslave humanity a little bit.. is that so wrong?

 
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SonOfMacedon

Guest
If LD's on the externals I gotta be on the externals as well.


Species 003.
Description: The following alien species is notoriously known in our world. Some intelligence and peace-keeping agencies have had their share of experience with this individual and have placed him on the list of most wanted criminals in the world, not knowing he comes from outer space. He goes by the name of SonOfMacedon and if you look carefully at his face you will see the "feature" that makes him so easy to identify when not wearing disguise.
Weakness: If you find yourself within reach of this individual get ready for some serious action. The only way to survive an encounter with this species is to tickle its "facial feature" until it laughs so hard it will fall to the ground. Use the precious few seconds to escape.

Very well done Kindred. Although I find that picture of me quite offensive. It's alright though, I'll be a good sport about it and take it on the chin.
 

Kslay

Guest
I want to see what it looks like when SoM eats a hotdog or banana haha
 

Lrtnl

Guest
Weakness: So far we've discovered only one means of self-defense against this species: Waldo. No, it's not a joke. All you need is a "Where's Waldo?" book. Give it to the alien and ask him "Where's Waldo?" For some reason, this species can spend days looking for him. Funny thing is, they can never find him.
For this one, I also find baked beans are effective as well, he can't resist them :D
 

SonOfMacedon

Guest
Everybody's been calling me Barney Ballchin for the past 2 days... :(