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+++++ Lords of the Rim Special Edition +++++
EXCLUSIVE!
SCOOP!
ANY OTHER WORD I CAN THINK OF TO ATTRACT ATTENTION REGARDLESS OF VERACITY!
Nagithos Nag - bringing you the truth through lies since 1367
Oldest established newspaper in Nagithos
Except Rock's one
In a packed issue, we boldly go where no newspaper has dared go before - to the heart of Lords of the Rim, to bring you the latest on the stunning civil war that has broken out there.EXCLUSIVE!
SCOOP!
ANY OTHER WORD I CAN THINK OF TO ATTRACT ATTENTION REGARDLESS OF VERACITY!
Nagithos Nag - bringing you the truth through lies since 1367
Oldest established newspaper in Nagithos
Except Rock's one
And in a stunning departure from our normal editorial policy, most of it might even be true.
Nothing passes us by here in Nagithos Towers, home of the world-famous Nag Nag. With our ear for news firmly pressed to the ground or to other people's keyholes, we miss nothing. Especially when we're tipped off...
So when word began to spread of the civil war spreading like wildfire through Lords of the Rim's lands, it didn't take long for this conversation to take place:
EDITOR: "Right, who wants to cover this one? Means talking to Witchunter General and getting close to LOTR."
REPORTERS: Uncomfortable silence.
EDITOR: "Come on, come on, there's glory in covering this one, surely somebody will do it?"
SPORTS REPORTER: Farts.
EDITOR: "Ah, a volunteer, well done!"
SPORTS REPORTER: "Bugger!"
So our Sports Reporter is quickly retitled as Intrepid Investigarive War Reporter, and sent to the thick of it.
EDITOR: "I want you to go to the thick of it."
INTREPID REPORTER: "Where's that?"
EDITOR: "LOTR HQ is likely to be the thickest place going."
So off he went. Next thing we hear:
INTREPID REPORTER: "You were right, they are pretty thick here"
EDITOR: But doesn't Wichunter General claim an IQ of 168?
INTREPID REPORTER: "Well it has a 1 in it, for sure."
EDITOR: "What is it, then?"
INTREPID REPORTER: "1. The 168 comes from adding it up for each of his personae."
EDITOR: "Just go and do some reporting and leave the jokes to me!"
BACKGROUND
It's no secret that LOTR have been fighting a losing battle with Show Me Your Noobies for some time. WG (neither WHG nor WUG really!) had been trying to put together a coalition of alliances that might be big enough to wield some power in and around ocean 54. I was going to say "coalition of like-minded alliances", but I suspect there are very few indeed of like mind to WG. It was decided to set up a bolt-hole in 63 for when the pressure from SMYN became intolerable, and the sister alliance, Aegis of the RIm, was tasked with this undertaking. So far, so good.
Aegis leadership quickly recognised that they could best do this with the assistance of other alliances so as to clear enemies from both 63 and 53, so they enlisted the help of Thor to take on HEROES. This operation was a great success, but WG decided to take in the remaining HEROES into LOTR, and that was where the trouble started...
INTERNECINE WARFARE
Or civil war, if you prefer....
At this point, leaders of Aegis and Thor requested that those players taken in be consumed instead, and WG exploded, accusing those leaders of treachery, of being dogs that needed a lesson (the dogs issue that has sprung up in various LOTR threads of late) and that they were meant to follow their leader (him) and not have a say.
Very quickly this deteriorated from a shouting match to an actual war. LOTR declared war on Thor because WG believed they had a pact with SMYN, which is quite untrue - the Editor of this organ knows that SMYN have no pacts with anyone, so knows for a fact that that allegation is false. LOTR then attacked an Aegis member, Aegis issued an ultimatum, but stated that they would not attack certain members 0 including the LOTR second in command and their non-battle diplo. WG kicked those players as spies, and the fighting war began in earnest.
IRONY
From what I can gather, the members kicked from LOTR were actually the most loyal to the alliance, and among their best players. They were Do Not Attack for Aegis (now renamed as Abyss Watchers) because they were respected for their playing ability, their common sense, and their ability and desire to actually bring the warring factions back together. Far from being "spies", as WG claimed, they were the potential peacemakers. But the real spies remain unfound...
Cold War Russia purge
That's how WG's actions have been described from sauces inside LOTR, and they do seem to have echoes - a totalitarian leader doing away with all forms of potential opposition. Paranoia and delusion are words heavily used by those who have decided to talk to us.
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY
After we went to press, we got word that WG would talk to us - so long as Intrepid Reporter stopped farting. Quick application of a rubber bung, and we were admitted to his presence. What met us was not the pantomime villain we were expecting (oh no we weren't....oh yes we were...), but a bruised and battered, but straightforward man - a man with a vision.
And to understand this story, you need to understand that vision.
THE VISION
What WG wants is a Grepo that still welcomes new players, gives them space to learn, have fun and be protected. That's really what the Rimlord Ethos boils down to. Probably what most of us had when we started, but not so common now.
And then he came across a certain member of SMYN - who will remain nameless for now, so that I can quote WG directly. The two had a run in, which led WG to decide "to make it my business above all else to climb above the monumentally classless oik and teach him some manners."
This was the motivation for the SMYN war. As WG says, "Now we can debate whether it was my place to do so - it had no bearing on our fight with SMYN generally they are a decent fair minded bunch of players and most of them got the RIMLORD comedy personna pastiche.
WHen SMYN decides it wants it usually takes without much resistance. I choose to resist long enough to humiliate" him.
Asked about the civil war, it became clear that he felt let down that his guys had chosen to fight small guys to clear the decks in 63, which is why he let in the survivors, and why he felt betrayed by those he chose to kick.
"That group only exist because my few mates and I gave them breathing space to run away .
I run groups that fight other similar or bigger sized groups. Not desperately keen on internalisation but how else could we keep going ?
How do you take cities when one member of that group has more biremes than all of us put together?
It is not shocking that we take so few SMYN cities - it is shocking that we managed any at all.
Yes the city loss stats are not pretty but the objective was not to be pretty but to survive and thwart" the SMYN player.
So there you have it - a man determined to stand by his convictions, under severe pressure. Did he make the right decisions? Probably not. Did he make them for what he thought were the right reasons? Certainly.
The Future
LOTR's prospects look grim. They have Show Me Your Noobies to the west and south, Thor to the north, and Death By Chocolate and Abyss Watchers to the east. There one hope remains The Langolier Ones - decent fighters, but often poor decision makers which so often leads to their demise in a world. What will these guys choose this time?
The Nag Nag says
It seems clear to The Nag that this situation was avoidable and lies largely at the feet of Witchunter General for his perceived bizarre behaviour and insistence on running a dictatorship. Seldom works in Grepo. However, it's clear that his motivation was the good of the small players, and you have to admire his dedication to an ideal. Problem is that that strongman leadership meant that the others were never totally committed to that same ideal, and behaved as you would expect Grepo players to behave in 2017. These aren't the "self-serving liars, cheats, conmen and ne'er do wells" of WG's accusations, they're decent, honourable players, the same as WG himself - but on a different wavelength. And ultimately, it's that lack of mutual understanding that has led to this conflict.
SMYN were also offered the chance to comment on the situation: "we're letting them squabble for now, someones gotta build those 3 to 5k cities that are left from them and building cities suck!"
So there you can see who will ultimately profit from the situation.
*****UPDATED*****
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