Pella Agony Aunt - Week 5!

  • Thread starter Sapphire Sorrows
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DeletedUser

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Pella Agony Aunt Week 4!

Welcome my dears, to week 5! We have a few questions this week, and our friend Anonymous is back! Let’s get stuck right in.

Dear A.A.

Firstly I would like to say that your advice has given me such comfort I feel eternally in your debt. My life has been so much better since I acted upon your kind words of wisdom and now I feel on top of the world.
After your advice in this column 2 weeks ago I followed it to the letter. My alleged friends who were no more than pronunciation delinquents now offer me no problems at all. They are now supporting the foundations of my patio as you suggested, lovingly distributed into the concrete mix and I must say the wife loves the new patio. I would have written to thank you sooner, however I wanted to impress my wife with the efficiency of my labour and so was working on the disposal of these former friends all of this time.
As you suggested, my wife does in fact believe in the philosophy of not letting anything go to waste & she was more than happy to assist me in the disposal of these miscreants. She stirred the lime powder into the water like a real little trooper. If I didn't know better I’d say she was happy to see them go!!!
Anyway, dear A.A., I find myself digressing so shall return to the root of my new problem.....
It seems that a partner of one of my former friends has alerted the authorities to their disappearance. This has me feeling somewhat agitated and wondering what my next course of action should be. Now obviously I don't see any way for there to be a forensic link to me regarding anything to do with my new patio and his disappearance, but as I’m sure you'll appreciate I don't want this person breaking the tranquillity of my now stable mental equilibrium.
What I would like to know now is what is my best option to resolve this situation. Should I consider persuading this person to be quiet under penalty of becoming my next gardening project, or should I try to cut this problem out at the source by demolishing my local police station? Perhaps I should invite them around to dunk some bourbon cremes into a nice cup of tea, both the individual & the police & maybe create a cunning plan to deal with them all at once & remove myself of this problem forever, after all, there is an endless list of gardening projects I’m sure my wife would like to see me start?
I find myself once more looking for your kind words of advice & guidance on this matter as nobody else seems to understand me.

Also can you recommend a good creme to relieve the pain & blistering of acid burns as unfortunately when following your last advice I forgot to wear my personal protective equipment whilst holding some "materials" I was dissolving.
Thankfully waiting for your advice

Anonymous


Dear Anonymous,

My goodness, you’ve finished the Patio already! Some has been a very busy bee! Let’s see if I can’t help your wife out a little here. Fixing up the garden would be a wonderful treat for her, don’t you think?
Taking out the entirety of the police force – although it would remove the immediate issue of investigation into the disposal of the pronunciation delinquents – would bring in the internal investigation units, and the anti terrorist units…. and I don’t think there’s enough tea and biscuits to please them! I would suggest that you do not invite the individual around to your home, but pick him up while he is out shopping. Borrow a Van from the scrapyard during the middle of the night and wear a black balaclava. I am sure your wife can knit one up which is quite cosy, and the pattern can be used for other warm headwear as well!
I would advise that if you are going to use a new fertiliser in your gardening, do make sure that you match it to plants who would benefit. Petunias, for example, take only a little nourishment. I would suggest that you try such fertiliser around roses – their blooms will increase in size and the scent masks the strongest of fertiliser smells.
I do not know if you have heard, but the latest trend is exotic pond animals! If you have access to a pond you may want to invest in some Piranha – very loyal and sweet fish that could take hardier nourishment than the fish food flakes given to goldfish or Koi.
For your hands, I suggest you use E-balm, or Tea Tree ointment. Both have wound healing properties, and they also relax the muscles so the energy in our hands goes towards healing anything that comes up. They also keep infection at bay – which I am sure your wife would prefer. Have you tried using a light moisturiser at night to relieve the pain in your hands? Maybe that would help.

Give my regards to your wife,

~Auntie Sapphie


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Dear Sapphire,
When I saw your response to the windmill only turning west it made me think. What else in this game does not made sense?
Well when doing my five-minute farms I went to upgrade my Academy and clicked of the Senate tab while still trying to think on how Grepolis has defied on normal principals. Well anyway I was thinking about this I was staring at my Academy, and boom it hit me.
It's the little people building and expanding our buildings. All they do is sit there hammering away at the same spot. I mean it might but be one nail he needs to put in to do the expansion (one hard nail if it takes 7 hours) but I feel this is not the case because after a certain upgrade the building almost magically rises up to be a beautiful building with gold and the most prestigious rock.
Now my question is, how does one man hammering at the same spot achieve this? Is it though magic? Many other builders inside the building? Or is it sculptor Phidias who helped create and design the Parthenon? Or just that random homeless man down the street who eats swords for a living?
Thank you for your time.
Well you already got an anonymous writer so could please use this name please.
Anonymous the second.


Dear Anonymous (The second)

You have indeed hit upon one of the great mysteries of Grepolis! I hate to disappoint you, but it is not magic. The men hammering the building are in fact just a distraction! The real construction happens underground, by the outcasts of society. When deformed children are thrown from the cliff to keep the community pure, they do not perish. They are guided by the Cyclops of Poseidon to caves under the ocean floor, which tunnel back to the mainland. The men who are hammering are actually using Morse code to let their deformed children know exactly what they need to do to make the building, and then push up the structure through the earth so it can be used in the city.
Hopefully this has cleared your mind and with this new knowledge perhaps you could send some food down to the deformed ones – who work very hard to raise your buildings in just hours!

~Auntie Sapphie


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Dear Agony Aunt

It seems that we have been having a bit of manufacturing Issue with our transports and we need help. They seem to have an malfunction that kills a few unlucky passengers every time they make land whether there are people awaiting them or not. So my question is were can i get a few artisans to teach my incompetent shipyard workers on proper technic to alleviate this issue as the folk women of my Polis are demanding that this issue be resolved before more of there love ones perish. To me the happiness of my people is of utmost urgency. Your assistance on this issue would be most appreciated.

Sincerely: Concerned Warlord


Dear Concerned Warlord,

That does sound like a severe problem, but I think I know the cause. You have brought your transports but you did not initialise the Hades “Men back” guarantee! The transports that we may build are not of the best of quality, so it really is imperative that you enlist with Hades insurance and take care of all the excursions you can afford to send. If you are having issues with being able to afford the high favour rates, I suggest you get the women to talk to a high priestess about premium favour production – but I believe a small fee is involved for that as well.
Good luck,

~Auntie Sapphie
 
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DeletedUser

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ran out of space in my original post so i shall just have to add our awards down here! Time again for the 7 deadly Sin awards!


The 7 Deadly Sin Awards!

Lust ~ The player I most want to be based on their performance in game

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Maximus024 is on top again, taking this cup for a record 3rd time in a row! Congratulations! You’ve managed to hold off competition again, very impressive!

Anger ~ The player who shows the most aggression in game

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Gaining just under 20,000 Attack Battle Points more than he had, Eclipsin12 has again won this cup – RAWR. Looking forward to seeing how people move forward to try and catch up!

Sloth ~ the active member of the forum who isn’t so active in game

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nodcrush. Hasn’t really grown much at all – but at least he’s about to comment on our Pella forum!

Covetousness ~ The City I want most based on name and points

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“Little Fluffy Clouds” Belonging to Ardell (Member of Children of Ares) looks like just the sweetest wee place to visit, and for some reason I picture a floating chocobo garden somewhere in there. Weird.

Gluttony~ The Player who takes the most cities in game

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Ellaranna has got it this week, with a 15th city under the belt! Congratulations – really getting ahead!

Pride ~ The Best Alliance in Pella (My Opinion)

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Mors Omnia Solvit have not only beaten off their possibly competition, but they have also responded to all calls on the forum about their gameplay, and they have held up strong against those who would say they attack only smaller people that they know they can beat. I have to say that those players attacking those smaller came from Empowered originally, so perhaps there is something to be looked at there – considering the history. Regardless, I wish them luck and congratulations for winning the Pride cup for a second time in a row.

Envy ~ The Alliance I want to be in based on performance in game

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Sort of half and half envy for MOS, so they can drink from the cup – but I get to wash it and put it back on my shelf ;)

Thank you for joining me again this week my dears, Happy Hunting and I hope this wall of text was not too hard on your eyes :p

~Auntie Sapphie
 
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DeletedUser

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Thank you - i'm looking forward to seeing your next paper as well!
 

DeletedUser19042

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nice to read...Well done.
Looking forward for the next already. ;)

Damn, can't rep you anymore...:(
 
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