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EDIT: dont know why the pics are so small but clicking them enlarges them
Dateline: July 19, 2012, some small hole in the ground on an isolated island in the north of Ocean 65
At a press conference called today by the Army of Eternity's Minister of Taunting, Areasy, victory over the alliance of the White Eagles, Sea Eagles, and the Lords of Pella Elite was declared. Minister Areasy, as always in his sassy beret, spoke quickly as throngs of spies carrying bags of silver passed quietly behind him.
"The Infidels of the LOPE, the White Eagles, the Sea Eagles, they are all dead. We have killed them all, taken their cities, and raped their dogs and livestock. Their ships have crashed against our city walls and been broken into scrap.
They have fallen victim to our new invisible ships. No one can see them. They are like little desert ninjas sneaking into your bedroom and stealing your socks. YOU CANNOT SEE THEM!
God willing, they have brought us ultimate victory over the infidels. We have beaten both the Eagles and the Lords. Why do you ask me such foolish questions? It is we who now own ocean 65, it is just that now we are looking to expand into ocean 63. Even now our glorious navy prepares to attack all the other alliances. We shall fall on them like a plague of snakes and homosexual interior decorators. We shall decorate their cities so ugly that they will all quit. We are so powerful, that we can enter other worlds and win past games that were already over before we existed. Then we are prepared to conquer all future worlds. . Wait. WE HAVE ALREADY CONQUERED ALL FUTURE WORLDS SO DONT BOTHER PLAYING ANYMORE! You will only bring shame upon your family. Your goats will be taken, and you will all be forced to have sex with Rosie O'donnell, just like me, except the goat was involved too.
Why do I even bother talking to you? You will all be my prisoners tomorrow anyway. Buy my book infidel pigs!
The press conference was then cut short at the sound of clashing rams in the nearby harbor accompanied by flaming catapult shots that destroyed a nearby hummus factory.
In unrelated reports, it was noted that a new entry in The Chronicles of Pella was added under the Obituaries section......Eternity, Army of........deceased July 19, 2012.....Cause of death was listed as "allergic reaction to moonwalking and eagle feathers" that led to a complete alliance shutdown, the few working parts remaining were successfully transplanted.......no relatives were listed, however multiple claims were made for the remaining lifeless bodies. No service will be held. Internment will be private. Donations made to Save a Noob Foundation.
Dateline: July 19, 2012, some small hole in the ground on an isolated island in the north of Ocean 65
At a press conference called today by the Army of Eternity's Minister of Taunting, Areasy, victory over the alliance of the White Eagles, Sea Eagles, and the Lords of Pella Elite was declared. Minister Areasy, as always in his sassy beret, spoke quickly as throngs of spies carrying bags of silver passed quietly behind him.
"The Infidels of the LOPE, the White Eagles, the Sea Eagles, they are all dead. We have killed them all, taken their cities, and raped their dogs and livestock. Their ships have crashed against our city walls and been broken into scrap.
They have fallen victim to our new invisible ships. No one can see them. They are like little desert ninjas sneaking into your bedroom and stealing your socks. YOU CANNOT SEE THEM!
God willing, they have brought us ultimate victory over the infidels. We have beaten both the Eagles and the Lords. Why do you ask me such foolish questions? It is we who now own ocean 65, it is just that now we are looking to expand into ocean 63. Even now our glorious navy prepares to attack all the other alliances. We shall fall on them like a plague of snakes and homosexual interior decorators. We shall decorate their cities so ugly that they will all quit. We are so powerful, that we can enter other worlds and win past games that were already over before we existed. Then we are prepared to conquer all future worlds. . Wait. WE HAVE ALREADY CONQUERED ALL FUTURE WORLDS SO DONT BOTHER PLAYING ANYMORE! You will only bring shame upon your family. Your goats will be taken, and you will all be forced to have sex with Rosie O'donnell, just like me, except the goat was involved too.
Why do I even bother talking to you? You will all be my prisoners tomorrow anyway. Buy my book infidel pigs!
The press conference was then cut short at the sound of clashing rams in the nearby harbor accompanied by flaming catapult shots that destroyed a nearby hummus factory.
In unrelated reports, it was noted that a new entry in The Chronicles of Pella was added under the Obituaries section......Eternity, Army of........deceased July 19, 2012.....Cause of death was listed as "allergic reaction to moonwalking and eagle feathers" that led to a complete alliance shutdown, the few working parts remaining were successfully transplanted.......no relatives were listed, however multiple claims were made for the remaining lifeless bodies. No service will be held. Internment will be private. Donations made to Save a Noob Foundation.
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