Newspaper Puns of Carystus

Bearissimus

Phrourach
For the avoidance of doubt, this thread is purely to have a laugh and not designed to be any form of propaganda. I hope people take it as meant...

SO....

If I were to publish an article on Rogue Traders' new diplo, would it be a Poop scoop?
If a leader of Invicta were to wear platform shoes, should we call him Big Mac?
If I were to stand behind RT, would he have a bear behind?
Who Cares if I were to stir a cocktail with a Thizzle stick?
If one of the founders of WIB were to quit, would Jim be Ruthless?
If TEE all got up late, would they be Russian to log on?

I'm sure there are punsters as bad as me, so please have a go!