recruitment letter template

aresreal

Guest
Hello, NAME we had been watching you progress for quite some time now, and we impressed with you progress . All signs shove that You are active, successful player. But You are surrounded with 175-350 points cities, which we are farming or will farm in next 2-3 days. We need players such as You. Be strong among equals. Fell safe and your back covered when You offline.
About us. At this moment Phoenix alliance is fast growing, conglomerate of players who know what is they want and they will get it.
Diplomacy: To other alliances we keep armed to the teeth neutrality/NAP. Players not in alliances are considered farms/conquest targets.
Long term goal: Build World Wonder and get to the Heroes world
Strategy: We believe in fast, mobile defense and ultimate punishment for our enemies – conquest.
Inside atmosphere: We promote respectful attitude, mutual assistance and cooperation.
As for me, I ‘m in active 11 !!! hours a day, and I shall help any member under attack, You have my personal word (who don’t need defensive battle points anyway :)
If You have any question please contact me any time.



Please point to my mistakes, and tell me how to improve this letter, make it more appealing.
 

fhibner

Guest
Other than making the alliance sound like a noobish one which will most likely fail soon then its a nice letter.
 

BBCue

Guest
technically, at 2k points, it will be difficult for you to promise to help everyone in your alliance, especially since you just got a harbor - you may want to rephrase that. in the beginning, it makes it easier to support them in time (revolt is 12 hrs) if you recruit only in your ocean.

i would suggest cutting out the sentence "But You are surrounded" because less words will get your message across much clearer. no one cares about small farms like that. also, at least attempt to personalize it at the beginning by commenting on their city names, profile pic, player name, experience, etc. one quick sentence to capture their attention with something they can identify with. you may have better success just messaging them to say "hello" and start an earnest conversation.

yes, this letter sounds 10x better than the spam i'm used to getting. keep in mind you may find it difficult to recruit on the rim this way... sad thing i found there was a 60% success rate at just inviting players and about 20% using intelligent messages. but in the long run, you'll have better, more responsive players than those recruited by a MRA. good luck!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

aresreal

Guest
it works

Two days left, and... Letter had outstanding success. We were rank 36 in ocean 25, now 2nd! I recruited 8 new members. Letter has 80% success rate, 1 didn't opened it yet, 1 did not answer. I can get picky now.