Should Single Mothers be Celebrated on Father's Day?

DeletedUser8396

Guest
Hey everyone.

The topic: Should Single Mothers be Celebrated on Father's Day?

The motion: This house believes that single mothers should be celebrated on Father's Day.

Details: It is a rising trend in today's culture that single mother's should be celebrated on Father's Day (and single fathers celebrated on Mother's Day). Surrounded in controversy, here are the opposing sides in brief-

Proponents: Due to the situation of being single, the mothers are forced to undertake both the motherly role as well as the fatherly role. For this, the single mother is just as deserving to be celebrated on Father's Day as a male father due to both acting in the same role.

Opponents: Although a single mother is required to undertake more responsibility, it does not change the fact that she is still a mother. This aspect of being a mother excludes her from being able to be defined as a father. This ineligibility denies her access to be celebrated on Father's Day.

These are only examples and baser arguments for each side and are not exhaustive. Should one side be universally represented, I will take the opposing side.

Stay civil and good debating!
 

DeletedUser

Guest
OK I do not for a second doubt the wonderful and extremely hard job that single mothers and fathers do (as a mother myself I know how hard it is). However what we are celebrating is everything that the male role models in our children's lives give to them. Single mums do a great job and single dads do too. I've a good friend who is a single dad after his wife died three years ago and he's doing a great job bringing up a wonderful little girl. However every child tends to have SOME role models of the opposite gender to their sole parent. THEY are the people we should be celebrating if the child's father isn't around. We should be celebrating all the wonderful things GOOD male role models provide our children (and heaven knows they're needed) and not celebrating single mums on Fathers' Day.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I disagree: mothers have Mother's Day, and fathers deserve to be acknowledged in their own right. Successful parenting requires the input of both parents whether they live together as a family unit or not; and as such, the different and complementary roles each plays are equally meritorious of a distinct identity.

Further it is grossly unfair that male only institutions are pressured into opening to women whilst female only institutions are not equally compelled to accept males. Case in point - scouts now accept both genders, but nobody is legally challenging or forcing the girl guide movement to accept boys as members.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I couldn't agree with you more Tuppence. As a mum to a little boy I think he needs BOY-ONLY space. There was no legal challenge to the Scouts being boys only. They just needed more members so thought they'd get the girls in!
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
OK I do not for a second doubt the wonderful and extremely hard job that single mothers and fathers do (as a mother myself I know how hard it is). However what we are celebrating is everything that the male role models in our children's lives give to them. Single mums do a great job and single dads do too. I've a good friend who is a single dad after his wife died three years ago and he's doing a great job bringing up a wonderful little girl. However every child tends to have SOME role models of the opposite gender to their sole parent. THEY are the people we should be celebrating if the child's father isn't around. We should be celebrating all the wonderful things GOOD male role models provide our children (and heaven knows they're needed) and not celebrating single mums on Fathers' Day.

But what if the child has no fatherly, male role model to aspire to or celebrate? The child has learned everything it means to be a man and, as an extension, as an eventual father from his mother. If the mother assumes that fatherly role in conjunction with the motherly role, doesn't it constitute that she should be celebrated on the day set apart to acknowledge the fatherly role?

It seems that excluding women from being able to take part in Father's Day simply due to being female denies part of the role they assume in their child's life. Would you agree?

I disagree: mothers have Mother's Day, and fathers deserve to be acknowledged in their own right. Successful parenting requires the input of both parents whether they live together as a family unit or not; and as such, the different and complementary roles each plays are equally meritorious of a distinct identity.

Further it is grossly unfair that male only institutions are pressured into opening to women whilst female only institutions are not equally compelled to accept males. Case in point - scouts now accept both genders, but nobody is legally challenging or forcing the girl guide movement to accept boys as members.

Acknowledging mothers on Fathers Day wouldnt deny a father being celebrated, though. And yes, both roles areneeded, so a single mother is doing more than what is usually required if one is absent. So, wouldn't it stand to reason to celebrate her for the extra work she does which would be otherwise celebrated on Fathers Day with a male father?
 

DeletedUser

Guest
It seems that excluding women from being able to take part in Father's Day simply due to being female denies part of the role they assume in their child's life. Would you agree?

No and to suggest otherwise belittles the role of men in society. I'm not decrying the role of women either. I'm a firm believer in equality of value not necessarily identical roles. Every person is different but part of what makes us different is our gender. Men are valuable and our sons need to know that they have worth as MEN and a significant contribution to make to the upbringing of children. The message such an approach gives to our boys is "your role isn't unique - anyone can do it". Personally I want my son and my daughter to value themselves and their roles in society as mothers, fathers, men and women, and to respect the value that each gender brings to the table!
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
No and to suggest otherwise belittles the role of men in society. I'm not decrying the role of women either. I'm a firm believer in equality of value not necessarily identical roles. Every person is different but part of what makes us different is our gender. Men are valuable and our sons need to know that they have worth as MEN and a significant contribution to make to the upbringing of children. The message such an approach gives to our boys is "your role isn't unique - anyone can do it". Personally I want my son and my daughter to value themselves and their roles in society as mothers, fathers, men and women, and to respect the value that each gender brings to the table!

I can see where you're coming from. But wouldn't you agree it is a bit more literal of an interpretation of the term "father"?

Allow me to explain:

The definitions of father and mother are absolute. They detail that a mother is female, father male. Undeniable and irrefutable. Definitions determine identity. The individual is defined as female, thus her identity is that of female. Identity determines role. Females with a child are mothers. Roles determine action. A mother does typically motherly role things, fathers do typically fatherly things.

Let's remove the father from the equation and force the mother to take of the fatherly actions, now.

The mother is indeed a mother. That's irrefutable. But now she is doing actions designated under the fatherly role. As she is now doing these actions under a different role, she is now acting in that role and in that capacity. Since she is acting in that role, she can adequately be changed in identity. She would no longer be named "Mother", but "Single Mother".

Her role has changed, and thus her identity must also have changed. She would necessarily be both female and male (not literally, but in capacity). The definition would also change to something different.

Wouldn't the shift in identity, role, and action constitute her as a viable option to be celebrated on Father's Day, as she acts fully in that capacity?
 

DeletedUser

Guest
The definitions of father and mother are absolute. They detail that a mother is female, father male. Undeniable and irrefutable. Definitions determine identity. The individual is defined as female, thus her identity is that of female. Identity determines role. Females with a child are mothers. Roles determine action. A mother does typically motherly role things, fathers do typically fatherly things.

I think that would depend on what you define as "fatherly things"

There are many men today who take the role of caring for the house and doing the childcare. Are you suggesting that is not a "fatherly" thing to do? I think you are voicing societal expectations based on historical patriachal attitudes rather than the actual benefits that a MAN in a child's life can bring.

Men's brains work differently to women's. FACT! Neither work badly but the world works better when we both work together to get jobs done. Men bring a different dynamic to any relationship; as do women. You just need to look at the way men's behaviour changes when there's a woman joins the group and vice versa. We bring out the best in each other.

What we celebrate on Father's Day is the very male essence of fatherhood. We don't celebrate the fact that Dad fixes the broken bike any more than we celebrate the fact that Mum bakes the cakes on Mothers' Day. Those are stereotypes and it's perfectly possible for Mum to fix the bike or Dad to bake the cakes. We are celebrating the fact that MEN are important in the bringing up of children just as we celebrate the fact that women are important in it on Mothers' Day. Let's just enjoy celebrating the fact that men are men tomorrow!
 

DeletedUser29066

Guest
M = Mother. Mothers have Mother's Day.
F = Father. Fathers have Father's Day.

Those who play a dual role are MFers, and MFers don't deserve a day.:D
 

DeletedUser49358

Guest
The motion: This house believes that single mothers should be celebrated on Father's Day.!

This is probably the best explanation to your question, having single parents celebrating mothers and fathers day both is really up to the household and no one else as there are no laws on it. The same can be said for families that have parents of the same sex as I doubt that one would want to be celebrated on just mother's day and the other on father's day they could chose to celebrate on both days or just the day that reflects their gender.

In all honesty I would say this isn't even debatable as whether families with single parents chose to celebrate both mother and father's day is up to them, some may feel they want to because they may have raised their children on their own and others may feel it would be disrespectful if they are now a single parent because of divorce or death.

I'm basically trying to say this is like debating if families should have pets they either do or they don't for their own reasons and outside opinions shouldn't even be considered.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I think that would depend on what you define as "fatherly things"

There are many men today who take the role of caring for the house and doing the childcare. Are you suggesting that is not a "fatherly" thing to do? I think you are voicing societal expectations based on historical patriachal attitudes rather than the actual benefits that a MAN in a child's life can bring.

.............

What we celebrate on Father's Day is the very male essence of fatherhood. We don't celebrate the fact that Dad fixes the broken bike any more than we celebrate the fact that Mum bakes the cakes on Mothers' Day. Those are stereotypes and it's perfectly possible for Mum to fix the bike or Dad to bake the cakes. We are celebrating the fact that MEN are important in the bringing up of children just as we celebrate the fact that women are important in it on Mothers' Day. Let's just enjoy celebrating the fact that men are men tomorrow!

Aren't you kind of contradicting yourself? If either parent can do the 'fatherly' -- or in fact 'motherly' -- things, then why do the male parents necessarily have to be celebrated on Fathers day? Isn't claiming that specifically male influences on a child's life are a good thing stereotyping itself?

I think you are voicing societal expectations based on historical patriachal traditions rather than the actual benefits that a fatherly figure, be it male or not, in a child's life can bring. :p


Men's brains work differently to women's. FACT! Neither work badly but the world works better when we both work together to get jobs done. Men bring a different dynamic to any relationship; as do women. You just need to look at the way men's behaviour changes when there's a woman joins the group and vice versa. We bring out the best in each other.

Eeh that's not a fact, at all. We don't really understand how brains work in the first place, and there is no discernible evidence that male and female brains work differently. Behaviour is largely dependent on hormones, and while it's true that in general there is a significant difference in hormone levels which women and men have, it varies so much that you cannot claim to predict the general behaviour of a single individual. People are simply too unique to draw these conclusions.


M = Mother. Mothers have Mother's Day.
F = Father. Fathers have Father's Day.

Those who play a dual role are MFers, and MFers don't deserve a day.:D

This is brilliant :D



As for the actual topic, it's a moot point. Genuinely, who cares? Where I am from, at least, father's/mother's day is a deeply personal day which you spend with your family. Celebrate whomever you want. If this:
Surrounded in controversy
is actually true, and this highly crucial social issue actually sparked controversy, then I truly wonder how those people live their lives being outraged and offended by everything.


EDIT: shoutout to Slim who posted while I was still typing, I fully agree with him
 
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DeletedUser33530

Guest
This is probably the best explanation to your question, having single parents celebrating mothers and fathers day both is really up to the household and no one else as there are no laws on it. The same can be said for families that have parents of the same sex as I doubt that one would want to be celebrated on just mother's day and the other on father's day they could chose to celebrate on both days or just the day that reflects their gender.

In all honesty I would say this isn't even debatable as whether families with single parents chose to celebrate both mother and father's day is up to them, some may feel they want to because they may have raised their children on their own and others may feel it would be disrespectful if they are now a single parent because of divorce or death.

I'm basically trying to say this is like debating if families should have pets they either do or they don't for their own reasons and outside opinions shouldn't even be considered.

this. I like this. This deserves a cookie.
 

DeletedUser40768

Guest
This is probably the best explanation to your question, having single parents celebrating mothers and fathers day both is really up to the household and no one else as there are no laws on it. The same can be said for families that have parents of the same sex as I doubt that one would want to be celebrated on just mother's day and the other on father's day they could chose to celebrate on both days or just the day that reflects their gender.

In all honesty I would say this isn't even debatable as whether families with single parents chose to celebrate both mother and father's day is up to them, some may feel they want to because they may have raised their children on their own and others may feel it would be disrespectful if they are now a single parent because of divorce or death.

I'm basically trying to say this is like debating if families should have pets they either do or they don't for their own reasons and outside opinions shouldn't even be considered.

I agree but I think it is more up to the children on whether that single parent gets recognized for both. As only they know if their one parent has really helped filled the void of not having the other one. I don't think it matters much though, the parent doesn't need to be recognized on both holidays to know that their child loves and appreciates them.
 

DeletedUser45380

Guest
Why not expand the question to include single fathers on mother's day? Or Step parents raising their partners kids?
At what point does all of this take away from the meaning of the days? It would make more sense to have one day called parents day.
I don't think that the original days were meant to insult anyone. Intrinsically every person has a Mother and Father. Each person can show some gratitude to the respective parent for bringing them into the world.
There's a time and place for everything! But not now. - Professor Oak
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
Why not expand the question to include single fathers on mother's day? Or Step parents raising their partners kids?
At what point does all of this take away from the meaning of the days? It would make more sense to have one day called parents day.
I don't think that the original days were meant to insult anyone. Intrinsically every person has a Mother and Father. Each person can show some gratitude to the respective parent for bringing them into the world.

Mainly phrased the question this way because Father's Day was kinda two days ago...
 

DeletedUser45380

Guest
Mainly phrased the question this way because Father's Day was kinda two days ago...

I didn't mean to attack your question. It was more a comment on the general view of these types of issues.
 

DeletedUser5819

Guest
M = Mother. Mothers have Mother's Day.
F = Father. Fathers have Father's Day.

Those who play a dual role are MFers, and MFers don't deserve a day.:D

Funniest thing ever :D

At the risk of getting dashed by a pebble, I would suggest that a high proportion of MFers are fathers and certainly the vast majority are men.

:x
 
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