DeletedUser54339
Guest
The Headmaster Writes:
Welcome, and a big warm welcome to our new friends joining the school for this summer term. We particularly welcome our exchange students from Fiasco United, students from Erida Kaos's twenty-seven schools in the north-west, Blame Game, Bee Pee, Ghost Riders 1,2,3, Real Anarchaos (are you sure about that one? Editor) As you can guess, things will be a little more crowded than usual, so we will be sitting ten to a desk and sharing one pencil between five.
The school badge is hereby changed to a trireme on a black shield with the motto emblazoned above, "HUGGIUS, GOLDIUS, PLOTTIUS". In a somewhat related matter we are now looking for a new Latin teacher.
Pupils are discouraged from fraternising with the following:
Those naughty kids at Anarchaos Comprehensive School. They have been jolly mean to our visitors from Fiasco, and their headmaster Mr. N. Andboltz has requested our help on this matter. We will not have them wrecking this server. That's OUR job.
Professor Wijmeersch from Saboteur University. Constantly trying to discredit the good name of this school. As previously stated, that is also our job!
Rubbing linseed oil on the school cormorant is forbidden.
As you may know, Grepolympics is underway. Please report to the Games teacher for your assignment. Pupils without gold to spend run the risk of being expelled at the end of term.
Finally, I wish to address the rumour that only 45 pupils from the many, many pupils we have taken on will graduate to compete for the Domination Cup at the end of the school year. Our Head of Mathematics is working on a complicated theorem to establish that studying at St. Poopstan's won't be a total waste of time for most of our pupils. In the meantime... just... shush.
Have a great term!
(Disclaimer - Have written this for a bit of light-hearted fun, although my personal bias will obviously be apparent. It would be awesome if this thread doesn't turn into the usual 'he said, she said')
(Second disclaimer - Writing style in a very similar vein to a series of articles in satirical British magazine 'Private Eye' about the Cameron/Clegg coalition government. This is entirely intentional )
Welcome, and a big warm welcome to our new friends joining the school for this summer term. We particularly welcome our exchange students from Fiasco United, students from Erida Kaos's twenty-seven schools in the north-west, Blame Game, Bee Pee, Ghost Riders 1,2,3, Real Anarchaos (are you sure about that one? Editor) As you can guess, things will be a little more crowded than usual, so we will be sitting ten to a desk and sharing one pencil between five.
The school badge is hereby changed to a trireme on a black shield with the motto emblazoned above, "HUGGIUS, GOLDIUS, PLOTTIUS". In a somewhat related matter we are now looking for a new Latin teacher.
Pupils are discouraged from fraternising with the following:
Those naughty kids at Anarchaos Comprehensive School. They have been jolly mean to our visitors from Fiasco, and their headmaster Mr. N. Andboltz has requested our help on this matter. We will not have them wrecking this server. That's OUR job.
Professor Wijmeersch from Saboteur University. Constantly trying to discredit the good name of this school. As previously stated, that is also our job!
Rubbing linseed oil on the school cormorant is forbidden.
As you may know, Grepolympics is underway. Please report to the Games teacher for your assignment. Pupils without gold to spend run the risk of being expelled at the end of term.
Finally, I wish to address the rumour that only 45 pupils from the many, many pupils we have taken on will graduate to compete for the Domination Cup at the end of the school year. Our Head of Mathematics is working on a complicated theorem to establish that studying at St. Poopstan's won't be a total waste of time for most of our pupils. In the meantime... just... shush.
Have a great term!
(Disclaimer - Have written this for a bit of light-hearted fun, although my personal bias will obviously be apparent. It would be awesome if this thread doesn't turn into the usual 'he said, she said')
(Second disclaimer - Writing style in a very similar vein to a series of articles in satirical British magazine 'Private Eye' about the Cameron/Clegg coalition government. This is entirely intentional )