Newspaper The Nagidos Nag, Issue 2

DeletedUser46395

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The Nagidos Nag, Issue 2
****Special Valentines love-in issue****
***Special WW Preview Edition***

**Special today: Buy one, get one free**
*Special use of lots of red ink special*
Bringing you the Truth through Lies since love began

Never Knowingly Accurate.

Proud to be standing up to truth and honesty. (Still? - Ed)

The Originator of Alternative Facts and False News

So in a packed issue this month, we'll take a look at who's planning what for World Wonders, and any love-ins that may interest our reader. Or not. We'll have some special awards to celebrate three months of the server. We'll also gloat that this is the sixth issue of the Nag, a longevity unmatched by any other newspaper. Except Rock's, which also managed six issues, but we won't mention that.
Finally, I'll think of something to fill a bit of space and make it look like a balanced issue.

News of the week
isn't really news at all in the sense that Richard Thrust has been predicting it since day 1 of the server, which has earned him significant abuse from certain quarters not far removed from MBCZ, who has been trying unsuccessfully to hide it all that time by rather underhand tricks. This mighty organ wanted to break the news today in a Valentine's scoop, but Party Pooper In Chief Witchunter General just had to let the cat out of the bag yesterday and spoil my fun, for which I will find suitable revenge at some point. Oh, sorry, the news.... yes, it's the renaming of Caustic Soda as Extortion, a name which perhaps better suits them (more later) and a change which was inevitable after MartinusV's cringe-inducing comment "Shake the Soda and the Juice will start to flow in your oceans!". In other news, Extortion and Show Me Your Noobies will be merging to have a go at WWs - although this has been obvious since Day 1, reinforced by two key members swapping alliances fairly early on, it has still caught a fair few members of each alliance by surprise, and not all are happy about it - some to the extent of ghosting. Less happy still are some of the smaller alliances who were being pressurised into supporting one or other of these two behemoths and now are far from clear what the future holds, and less than happy about the way they have been treated. At least that alliance name, Extortion, is honest in this area...

WW Preview


We'll use a Top 12 format to look at the major players and their plans for WWs:

1. Extortion - whatever players end up in this alliance, this is likely to be the one going for WWs
2. Show Me Your Noobies - now Extortion's academy, they will provide cover for Extortion, and eat the small alliances helping them
3. This is not a drill - going for WWs with the addition of some players from Slap.
4. Written in Blood
- plan was always to cover Enough is Enough's WW effort, not entirely clear where there path lies now.
5. This is not a hammer - see Drill.
6. Caustic Juice - should we read anything in to them keeping the original name? Probably not.
7. Noobs - fairly likely to have a go, possibly in conjunction with The Langolier Ones.
8. The Langolier Ones - see Noobs.
9. Blood Ties - always intending to have a go as Enough is Enough, they probably realise their chance is gone now.
10. LAST OF THE RIM LORDS - given their retreat strategic withdrawal into 63, I suspect they will have a go, albeit doomed to failure.
11. The Resurrected - well they're back again, but unlikely to have a major impact on WWs.
12. Slap - it's believed that some of those not joining the tools believe they can make a show of WWs. Er, yeah, right...

Nag Awards

So time for our annual 3-monthly Nag Awards. It being Valentine's Day, naturally our first award is for

Best couple of the server: This was a hard-contested award that could have gone to so many - Witchy and Phil, Witchy and Foo, MBCZ and RT, Shaz and just about anyone, but the award goes to...
MBCZ and Phil. Could ever a couple deserve each other more? Congratulations, love puppies.

Personality of the server, sponsored by Witchunter General. I suspect he sponsored it so he couldn't get nominated.... So many candidates, but only one winner...
For his utterly charming and delightful character, Phil. Well done Phil, richly deserved.

hethinkshessmartandagoodplayerbutnotascleverorgoodashethinksheis Award
, sponsored by Phil. Only one nomination here...
Yes, it's Witchunter General.

Yellowbelly of the server: again, several possible nominations, but this award can only possibly go to one recipient, someone who has studiously avoiding helping anyone with his defence when he could sit on it himself, someone who runs into VM the moment the attack alarm sounds, someone who has let all his alliance pals down on every conceivable occurrance...
Who else but DanLWar. Take a bow, Dan, richly deserved.

Deflector of the year - an award for the person who has done the most to twist facts and manipulate them - and people - to try to mean the opposite of the truth. Although many have tried this, it's only those for whom it's second nature who can hope to pick up this award.
Another richly deserved award for May Bee Cra Zee.

Fibber of the server - obviously one of the hardest-fought categories of all, with many people up for it, but in the end, only one choice.
SMYN not going for WWs? No pacts? Yeah, yeah. Well done, Foo Fighter, Fibber of the Server. :)

Best Looking of the server,
sponsored by Richard Thrust.
Richard Thrust. (How did that happen? - Ed)

Most deluded/optimistic of the server
- hot favourite for this one was of course Witchy, but I can tell you he hasn't got it.
Anyone who thinks anyone outside the top 4 can win. They probably can't. But rim alliances can certainly have a say in who does win.

The Flop Endowment - sponsored by Magick. Could be awarded for many things, but we'll go with most awful trash talk...
Step up, MartinusV. So awful it was funny. ;)

Newspaperperson of the server
. Ah, we like this one!
Congratulations Rock5 for 6 editions of the Nagithos Chronicle. (Er, are you sure? What about us? - Ed)

(Right, that's enough awards - Ed)
 

DeletedUser46395

Guest
Part 2

Nagithos Nag breaks all records to reach 6th Issue

Astonishingly, we've managed to reach our 6th issue of this rubbish, equalling the most issues our Editor has ever seen of a forum newspaper, which is incredible given we've eschewed all the normal trappings of forum newspapers such as bribes resource lotteries, in-depth interviews, and facts, whilst at the same time winning major awards for the quality of our journalism. (Well Witchy said we were "reasonably fair", anyway...)
Our Editorial Policy of bringing the "Truth through Lies" hopefully gives everyone a glimpse of what is actually going on behind the scenes without the spin of the participants, leaving only the spin of the Editor. And if it fails there, at least may make people smile...

Random bits of interest


So we went out to do interviews on the Noobies/Caustic merge, and as luck would have it, first person we found was Ranga1:

"So is may be cra zee yes you are) the new Queen of Cuddling??? I always knew she loved Erik W but I thought it was her ambition to do it different to him but now I realise it was because she wanted to be him" (Seems rather perceptive for trash talk - Ed)

"Kinda sad cause noobies do nothing but brag about how they don't hug, take on the big alliances, blah blah then they hug the other biggest alliance to sim their way to a ww " - Seve Johnson

We didn't think we would do much better, so went to the pub after that, but the office junior made up a few more...

"Freakin' awesome" - Witchunter General

"Flubalubalubalubalub" - Phil (Are you sure that's not real? - Ed)

"Spiffing news, complete shock to me" - Foo


We'll take our usual look at the Oracle - these don't even need comments:


Show Me Your Noobies have struck a sound blow against Caustic Juice. They ve conquered 13 cities and lost 5.
Could prove to be a fascinating war here...

The most popular player last week was WitchunterGeneral with 18 hits.
See, popular, people!

This is not a drill has conquered 110 cities from This is not a hammer and lost 98.

Nice close war this one, well worth watching.

Show Me Your Noobies has left LAST OF THE RIM LORDS's streets piled with bodies. They ve conquered 174 cities and lost 4.

Another close one that could go either way.




And finally....


The Curse of the Nag strikes again - no sooner did we feature Kleos than all sorts of chaos emerged. They merged with another group, who then spotted them as losers and left, quickly followed by the rest of Kleos, who jumped to a new alliance called, er, Kleos. Sadly, they're still as rubbish as they were before. You couldn't make it up. (Er, we usually do - Ed.)
 
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DeletedUser46395

Guest
Trying to distract people????
From what?

No, I just find the fact that the Oracle can't distinguish between actual wars, internals and handovers amusing and have been pointing that out since this paper started. I also find the fact that many people misinterpret what the Oracle says highly amusing - it's replaced good old fashioned talking between diplos to an extent, and that has led many smaller alliances into dreadful situations by thinking they might in this case offer to help Hammer against Drill, for example. So I feature some of these as a gentle hint that you can't always trust facts to tell you the full story... and that actually, my made-up stuff really does tell the Truth through Lies for the most part. ;)
 

DeletedUser54451

Guest
Imagine the WW battles in this world if #1, #2 and #6 weren't merging.


Such a shame.
We'll see how the merge goes. We all know what happens when this kind of bs happens. Usually the better bunch of player leave and go elsewhere. Sick of all this hugging. In fact I've already received a messaged from a top SMYN player telling me of how disgusting the merge was.
 

DeletedUser46391

Guest
Imagine the WW battles in this world if #1, #2 and #6 weren't merging.


Such a shame.
Imagine is all that can be done now bud.


We'll see how the merge goes. We all know what happens when this kind of bs happens. Usually the better bunch of player leave and go elsewhere. Sick of all this hugging. In fact I've already received a messaged from a top SMYN player telling me of how disgusting the merge was.
Already?

Saying that, we've had a fair few too so am not surprised.
 

DeletedUser54610

Guest
I remember when grepolis was a fighting game... Those were the days. But I guess those college kids that need their safe zones took over running grepolis alliances.
 

DeletedUser48538

Guest
Oracle tells an accurate story. You're all the ones who made acadmies, and deals with each other.

The fact you willingly traded, whether between your acadamies, or for small territories, tells us how "hard" you fought.

Grow a pair and fight to the death!!!!
 

DeletedUser48256

Guest
Correction: #1 #2 #4 #6 #9 #12
WiB are part of this merge as well?

3 of the top 4 alliances? LOL. RIP Nagidos.

Good point from David though, let's hope people do leave and start a new alliance, that could be interesting.
 

DeletedUser46395

Guest
WiB are part of this merge as well?

3 of the top 4 alliances? LOL. RIP Nagidos.
No, they're not.

Oracle tells an accurate story. !
No, it doesn't; re-read all the copies of the Nag and if nothing else, that should be very clear.
It's a bit soul-destroying to set out to educate people on that very fact and then find that somebody just doesn't get it.
 

DeletedUser54360

Guest
Imagine is all that can be done now bud.




Already?

Saying that, we've had a fair few too so am not surprised.

While I have had a few saying " in effect " Yes you were right all along you git but we hate you even more because of that".
 

DeletedUser48256

Guest
Funny how all the SMYN players, who are constantly saying how great SMYN is because they're at war with a top 12 alliance or whatever, have gone quiet