Newspaper The Nagidos Nag, Issue 9


*****Special EiE Memorial Souvenir Edition*****

Bringing you the Truth through Lies since 1874

Never Knowingly Accurate
So in today's news, we have the final disintegration of Enough is Enough. We'll take a look at their history, how we got here, and ask what it means for the future of the server, all in time-honoured Nag Nag style with full interviews,c i.e. I will make it up. This isn't a British tabloid for nothing. ;)
Also, we turn the spotlight on some diplos, which they will hate as they prefer to do all their work in smoke-filled rooms. Which is the best place for them. And of course we'll look at some current wars from the perspective of The Oracle. Finally, to counter accusations that we're not interested in the rim (really unfair, we're not), we will have a new feature, Rim Reports.

Death of Enough is Enough


In the beginning of this server, there was No Drama. Possibly one of the worst-named alliances of all time, it was riven by drama from day one, along with its academies No More Drama and No to Drama who all appeared right at the start. It was only a matter of time before they fell apart, but it was a pretty good effort to salvage as much as possible into Enough is Enough and the embarrassingly dreadfully named Enuff is Enuff. Things looked pretty good for a while, but one snag lurked on the horizon - SMYN. Before long, war broke out and it was not one EiE were really ready for. Noobies' progress was inexorable and rapid, and it has been clear for some time that EiEs time was up, as the pressure started to tell on leadership. Score in this war as of yesterday was EiE 19 - SMYN 108 .
So yesterday, the inevitable occurred; EiE started to plummet down the rankings as everyone jumped ship to Blood Ties, part of the Bloods Empire.

So what next?

What indeed? Will Noobies just carry on hitting Blood Ties as if nothing had happened, thereby making a rather bigger war? How will CS react to this new entity with more cities than them - has to be a concern? What will Drill do?

The Nag Nag says: we expect SMYN to carry on as before; makes no sense for them to stop now. Our intrepid reporter asked Phil for a quote: "wibble dribble wibble u2 scallop wibble scrabble dribble wibble" he said, "dribble wobble wibble scribble wibble wobble dribble wabble wible", at which point our reporter made his excuses and left. We tried to get quotes from others too, but the best we could manage was "Go away, Bear". In the interests of truthful reporting, which we're not really interested in, I have to state that "Go away" were not the actual words used.
And what will CS do? Word on the street says - nothing, as usual. I mean they will do nothing, as usual, not that there is no word on the street. At least for now... it's clear they would like to see these two fight each other to a standstill and then waltz in and pick up the pieces. Or is it... could we see CS and WiB together try to take out Noobies? Certainly a plausible scenario, and difficult for SMYN to fight on two fronts.
And Drill? Well as a second-rate CS, they will surely do nothing.

Spotlight on the Diplos

Most don't know what goes on between the diplos in a rarified world of jet-setting, champagne, and Ferrero Rocher. Frankly, it's too disgusting to print, the debauchery knows no bounds. But that's enough of Richard Thrust, let's move on to some others.

SMYN - step forward Spongebath. Never known to actually listen to anything the other side says, Spongey's approach to diplomacy is to make demands repeatedly and - well, that's it, really.

CS/CJ - have to talk about May Be Cra Zee, because it's a lot more fun. May Be, Beth? ;)
In terms of her negotiating style, it differs from Spongeys in that she ignores anything the other side says, and makes demands repeatedly... ;)

Drill - I've already mentioned RT. He will listen to anybody, but only once they've conceded that he's the best-looking. He uses that as a tactic to beat people down until they will accept anything just for him to shut up.

WiB/Bloods - depoisterdavid. DD is great if Jim and Ruthie wind him up and point him in the right direction; otherwise, he starts doing Spongey impressions until it all gets too much for him and he resets to human mode.

Noobs - xxSJJxx. What can I say? Well anything I like, that's the beauty of writing this rubbish. I know nothing about him/her, but anyone with that many Xs in their name is almost certainly crazed enough to be a decent diplo.

Slap - Evil Melinoe - far too sane to be on this list.

LOTR - Witchunter General. They have a separate Battle diplo and a non-battle diplo, but Witchy calls the shots. And generally sounds like he's drunk them all before he starts, and as chasers at that ... Worthy of the Cumerbund of Ridiculousness.

Current Wars

We keep being told how well LOTR are doing against SMYN.
The feud between Show Me Your Noobies and LORDS OF THE RIM has turned into a massacre. Show Me Your Noobies has conquered 102 cities and lost 3.
Great work, guys, you're less than 100 behind!

Slap. has conquered 6 cities from Fighting Fate and lost 0.
New name, new enemy, same result.

Blood Pressure has conquered 50 cities from Written In Blood and lost 48.
Anything could happen here, just waiting to see if Blood Ties takes sides.

Blood Pressure has conquered 21 cities from This is not a hammer and lost 15.
Oh dear, we're in trouble!

Caustic Juice has conquered 69 cities from Caustic Soda and lost 50.
Another tight one here!

Rim Reports

Oh I really can't be bothered about this, nobody cares.

Oh alright then, if you insist; lets take a look at a handful of rim alliances:

Fighting Fate - Adrastos as was. Change of leadership, change of name, but no change of fortune. An unerring knack of choosing exactly where TINAD is going to go next hasn't helped. This ability could be valuable, guys!
I am told that "mflip234 is a little odd" by sources inside the alliance.
Outlook - not great - best they can hope for is to be kings of Ocean 26.

Angry Dogs - the academy of Mad Dogs, but holding up rather better to the onslaught from the Caustics. Not in a very good position.
Outlook - bleak.

The Six Hundred - My Little Unicorn on the march with not quite 600, but they look like they're capable of having some fun at the expense of others. Interesting group.
Outlook - sunny.

And that will have to do for now, time to go to press.

Noz The Greek

Noz... be nice. ;)


hello, friends ... hope u all fine here....
pls check in game also , maybe your cities are under attack...


Don't worry mate its all about massaging egos on this forum ;) ,

Clearly he already thinks the same as you, which is why he's implicitly asking for his ego to be massaged. Equally clearly, neither of you can have read the Nag properly; it's not about massaging egos (except arguably mine with all the plaudits for my brilliant writing ;)), but about poking fun at them. My mighty organ makes people tremble at the knees with its sheer power and impressiveness, and the Nag does the same. Now if anybody thinks giving Death By Chocolate a whipping is particularly impressive given their personal issues spammed all over the server, they're absolutely delusional. Precisely because of those personal issues, we won't be covering this conflict in any depth because there are limits to even the Nag's cruelty. Besides, a better use of investigative journalism would be to find out where all your cities disappear to every time you're up against me on a server. ;) So unless you guys think it's a badge of honour to be ravished by my mighty... oh alright, I've already used that joke - unless you guys think it's a badge of honour for me to poke fun at you in an issue, I would be very careful what I wished for if I were you.
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