Newspaper The Nagidos Nag, Issue the one before the one before last

  • Thread starter DeletedUser46395
  • Start date

DeletedUser46395

Guest
The Nagidos Nag, Issue The one before the one before last

Bringing you the Truth through Lies since before time began

Never Knowingly Accurate. Except for the last issue. Which we're really sorry about.

So here we are again. After the debacle of honest reporting that was our previous issue, we'll return to the tried and tested formula of made-up lies, innuendo, euphemisms and double entendres that more honestly reflects the truth of the server and hopefully leaves everyone wishing I had never been born as they splutter over their keyboards, and gives me the chance to drink deeply at the well of narcissism and self-congratulation whilst ignoring the brave exploits of alliances heroically picking on those with personal issues.

This year's edition will focus on


Famous Feuds, Forgotten Fights, Feeble Foes, Fairweather Friends and Fantastic Fornication
All the things that make this game so popular. Although there is a chance that at least one of those categories won't be fully represented, unless we look at self-love. Which might be a good idea...

Alkandross. Mr Dross is the Chief Narcissist of The Narcissistic Ones, an alliance so desperate to be recognised as superhuman for beating a group of teenagers with severe personal issues that he can't resist blowing his own trumpet at every opportunity. {Is that a euphemism or a double entendre? - Ed}. Mr Dross also suffers from amnesia, which sounds like is should be some form of milky pudding. {Are you likening him to a rice pudding, or hinting that he couldn't pull the skin off one? - Ed} He's certainly forgotten Lapithos, and one or two servers that this esteemed reporter has also misplaced in time and memory, so we might have to make some allowances there.
File under "Feeble Foes" and "Fantastic Fornication". {Are you trying to say he's a shameless self-lover in every sense of the phrase? - Ed}

The Narcisistic Ones v Death By Chocolate. Nobody cares.
File under "Forgotten Fights", 'cos we've already forgotten it.

Shaz Boodoo v Just about everyone. Shaz appears to be very loyal, but somewhat of a simmer. No great shame in either of those, but they do make his bellicose outbursts more than a little amusing. As a result, he's become somewhat of a figure of fun for many in the forums. To his credit, Shaz has rather learned to play along with this, which shows hidden depth of character and a certain grudging admiration from this reporter - which would never be admitted to in public.
File under "Famous Feuds"

philvgr81 v Witchunter General. One of the jewels of this server's rivalries pits two pantomime villains against each other. In the red corner, we have Phil, famous for being utterly incomprehensible, and in the blue corner, we have Witchy, famous for being utterly incomprehensible. Their verbal jousts are a huge clash of styles that generally leave the onlooker utterly bemused that two people can say so much that is such total gibberish.
This rivalry has its roots in the fact that Witchy considers Phil to be a brainless thug, and Phil considers Witchy to be stone cold crazy. The Nag reserves judgement on both counts. Certainly highly amusing if you can decipher what either of them says.
File under "Famous Feuds"

Last of the Rim Lords v Show Me Your Noobies. Basically an extension of Witchy and Phil's personal animosity, this fight is there because Witchy thinks SMYN are just picking on the little guy, and SMYN in return are more than happy to pick on the little guy that is Witchy's alliance. Which kind of makes both sides losers..
File under "Forgotten Fights" I suppose...

Bearissimus v Spongebath. Not one of the classics, but it amuses me. Spongey won't talk to Bear because Bear told a few home truths. Spongey is not exactly renowned for being the most diplomatic diplo, as many on the server will attest to, but apparently most aren't stupid enough to say it to his face - they quite happily talk about arrogance behind his back, though. Well Spongey spotted that several Drill members had high DBP, and decided to threaten Drill that if they were defending Bloods, there would be consequences. Drill's response was that yes, several players had high DBP, but that that was because SMYN were actually attacking Drill members. Spongey being Spongey didn't have the good grace to apologise for his aggressive behaviour, displaying that very arrogance so many have commented on, and Bear being Bear couldn't help but point that out and also point out the fact that it might have been smarter to actually check out some facts before issuing threats. Spongey flounced off in a huff, and that was that.
File under "Fearweather Fiends" because that category is looking lonely...

Richard Thrust v May Bee Cra Zee. This one is a classic, though. Beth dislikes RT because she thinks he's a manipulative, controlling liar. RT dislikes Beth because he thinks she's a paranoid manipulative, controlling liar. One of these people is exactly what the other accuses them of, but this reporter is not going to let on which one that May Bee.
File under "Famous Feuds".

DanLWar. Dan has acquired a reputation over the years for talking a good fight, but always looking after No 1. We've lost count of the number of alliances he's abandoned to their fate whilst trying to pursue yet another crown by jumping ship - all the time ensuring his own cities' safety by never allowing his extensive bireme fleets to leave home waters.
File under "Feeble Foes"? "Fantastic Fornication"? You choose.

Show Me Your Noobies v Blood Ties. I suppose the server's most prestigious war, this one is basically a continuation of SMYN v EiE. A strategic war, part of the battle for control of O54, and so far too interesting and strategic to get much coverage here.
File under "Forgotten Fights" because

Last of the Rim Lords v Caustic Soda. Witchy thinks this lot are even worse than Noobies as flat track bullies. They're proving him right by thrashing him.
File under "Forgotten Fights"

This is not a Drill v Pandemonium. Ah, the Pandas. Everybody's favourite cute and cuddly alliance, This is not a Drill are Hammering the rather less popular Pandas. At least they fight back, even if the result of their recent op was about as successful as you might expect from an onslaught of cuddly teddy bears, taking a grand total of nil cities, which advances their overall take against Drill/Hammer to - nil.
File under "Feeble Foes"

Last of the Rim Lords v Thor. Just to clear up one outstanding issue from the last, er, issue, those players expelled from WitchyRim mostly ended up in Thor. Who are comfortably ahead in this war.
Single file.

Caustic Soda v Mad Dogs. All you need to know about this one is how one-sided it is. In fact you probably don't even need to know that. This is not the decisive battle for the server.
Don't bother filing

Slap v Rapid Growth. Well one of these alliances is very badly named indeed...
File under "Forgotten Fights"

The Resurrected v The Reborn. Surely this is a third-rate Zombie film? Almost certainly not as good as
Cockneys v Zombies
, which at least had the advantage of having some people I have heard of in...
File under the coffee maker.

Winged Hussars v TangoWorldWide. Unusually for the Nag, I'm not making this up, these are genuine alliancies. I neither know nor care any more about either.
File your nails rather than this one.

The Narcissistic Ones v Magical Moments. We've reached the area where delicate blossoms are to be found, it all sounds very camp.
File for bankruptcy.

Manowarriors v The Twentytwo. Who inevitably have 23. But now it's sounding homoerotic.
File the bars of your cell window.

mauro the conqueror II v djdom32. This one is quite amusing. mauro has turtled up to protect against Mad Dogs, and is sending noob-style attacks against djdom. As a result, djdom has a fairly low opinion of mauro, and suggests that without lots of gold, mauro would likely not be very near the top of the leaderboard. Hard to disagree on the evidence presented.
File under "Famous Feuds", and mauro under "Feeble Foes".


So that's all we've got time for this month, tune in next week for tomorrow's edition.

And remember, if your favourite/least favourite player/alliance/whatever hasn't/has been featured here favourably/unfavourably, don't complain to me unless you want the same treatment yourself.

 

wreakedhavoc

Phrourach
Lmao .... nice bear

bet you are dedicating tons of time for this :p all to entertain us ....

Interesting thing about it, is you know about personal issues between players ... Hrrmmm, must be digging for info somewhere :p
 

DeletedUser29748

Guest
Ok so you also have no idea when you supposedly took my cities from me , ok thanks for making that clear . And stop stealing my words and find your own thank you . :D
 

DeletedUser46395

Guest
Ok so you also have no idea when you supposedly took my cities from me , ok thanks for making that clear . And stop stealing my words and find your own thank you . :D
Well I did mention Lapithos, which you keep on forgetting...

And the word is so much a better fit for you, as you're the one so constantly desperate to be portrayed in a good light. :)
 

DeletedUser29748

Guest
Well I did mention Lapithos, which you keep on forgetting...

And the word is so much a better fit for you, as you're the one so constantly desperate to be portrayed in a good light. :)
Well there you have it then , as considering i have never been in "Lapithos" i think the Great bear has forgotten to do his homework :O , shock horror , will he actually admit he is wrong and has the wrong player ? , I mean my record is there for all to see so its not difficult .

Also i hardly think a post asking why a certain fight is not being covered is some desperate attempt for attention, no if i was so desperate i think i would be making my own posts trying to to show everybody how humorous i can be , oh i bit like this thread come to mention it ;)
 

DeletedUser29748

Guest
Sorry to disappoint you but no , think you have wrong player. As said i don't hide my profile so all worlds are clear for all to see and never had any other account . So i think you also must be , what was it , oh yes some sort of milk pudding, possibly Semolina :D
 

DeletedUser46395

Guest
Well there's another fib right there - you DO hide your profile.
 

DeletedUser51423

Guest
Boys. seriously. I'm going to send both of you to the naughty step.
 

DeletedUser46395

Guest
Looks like you can change the Shaz boodoo vs the world to vs me lol.
The Curse of the Nag. The moment we say something nice about anyone, they go completely bananas. He's proved the earlier assessment wrong, in the sense that he has apparently no loyalty at all, is trying to disprove the notion of him being a simmer (but the abysmal nature of the attacks rather supports the original diagnosis), and the accusations of depth of character appear to be unfounded after all - apologies, Shaz, you're a shallow, disloyal simmer. :)
 

DeletedUser46391

Guest
The Curse of the Nag. The moment we say something nice about anyone, they go completely bananas. He's proved the earlier assessment wrong, in the sense that he has apparently no loyalty at all, is trying to disprove the notion of him being a simmer (but the abysmal nature of the attacks rather supports the original diagnosis), and the accusations of depth of character appear to be unfounded after all - apologies, Shaz, you're a shallow, disloyal simmer. :)
After his meltdown (or whatever happened to cause him to leave CS and change all his city names).

He attacked two of my cities from over 5-18 hours away, left gaps that gave me enough time to move defence from one place to another with hours to spare and EQ'd a city he only hit with LS and TRI.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the BP as I myself am an absolute simmer of the highest order but still... Has put a smile on my face.
 

DeletedUser54360

Guest
I have said nothing nasty about Phil for some time now. And it seems neither he about I/

Why? I suspect it is because there has emerged some element of mutual respect. But I could be wrong.

But no sooner than that rapproachment .. Enter SPONGEBOB ...( DALEK VOICE " YOU WILL RESPECT MEEEEEEE!!!!!"

"I AM SPONGEBOBBBBBB!!! " " SMYN ARE THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD !!!!!! "

" YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATEDDDDD !!! "

Good luck with that pal.

It is official - this was my practice world after coming out of several years of retirement.

I am now sufficently motivated to announce.

That any world SMYN starts CONQUEST ( without MORALE ) going forward I am starting also locating right beside Bob and crew and I am going to kick the living Bejaysus out of them. But this time I will have my old crew with me.

FOR NOW

I am going to get some SIMBUILD gravy in 63 and to have some fun picking apart the Sicilians and what remains of THOR after the emergence of LOKI - who do aspire to be something more than Minnow Bashers ( Hats off to you Cornetto ) .
 

DeletedUser46130

Guest
I have said nothing nasty about Phil for some time now. And it seems neither he about I/

Why? I suspect it is because there has emerged some element of mutual respect. But I could be wrong.

But no sooner than that rapproachment .. Enter SPONGEBOB ...( DALEK VOICE " YOU WILL RESPECT MEEEEEEE!!!!!"

"I AM SPONGEBOBBBBBB!!! " " SMYN ARE THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD !!!!!! "

" YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATEDDDDD !!! "

Good luck with that pal.

It is official - this was my practice world after coming out of several years of retirement.

I am now sufficently motivated to announce.

That any world SMYN starts CONQUEST ( without MORALE ) going forward I am starting also locating right beside Bob and crew and I am going to kick the living Bejaysus out of them. But this time I will have my old crew with me.

FOR NOW

I am going to get some SIMBUILD gravy in 63 and to have some fun picking apart the Sicilians and what remains of THOR after the emergence of LOKI - who do aspire to be something more than Minnow Bashers ( Hats off to you Cornetto ) .
LOL i can tell you damn sure phil dont respect you, first of, second good luck with rimming us on future worlds, as we're revolt players anyway lol