The Pebble Poem Collection

DeletedUser

Guest
A Pebble, you're a fantastic writer - I think everyone here can attest to that - but this didn't, personally, do anything for me. I really like the overall message behind the piece, I just feel that the layout didn't convey it to its complete potential. See what I did there? Anyway, you're aware I'm not into poetry, I only really engage with it when it has a fluid depth of prosody. However, I'm also aware that theme can also effect its eligibility for certain devices.

It certainly wasn't bad, just it wasn't to my personal tastes. :)
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
Ok, I decided to edit this one, making it have two versions: one with rhyme and fluidity, and then this one.

The most likely problem in this one is that I wrote it ENTIRELY different from my others. This one has no structured format, no designateable pattern, and no rhyme.

My process was different in this one as well: Normally, I write and it naturally comes out rhyming and fluid (with a lil bit of work), whereas this one, I just wrote what came to mind.

So, I'll work on editing it, more than likely after the competition (or once I enter my work for it).
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Sounds good, I look forward to reading it and getting a warm, fuzzy, tingling feeling from it. :D
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
VERSION 2: Why Do You Fly?

Why Do You Fly?

Why do you fly?
Do you not realize what that does
To reach out and touch the sky
And claim you rose above?

You say you are so great,
Big and tall and strong
But with this dream, you have weakened
And your life is a hollow song

For now we are greater than you
Oh flier of skies,
For we have no limits,
Other than our minds

With this dream you hold,
You will question every choice
Contemplating its probability
While silencing your voice

You may talk how you wish,
And act how you may,
But you are no different,
No matter what words you can say

Does one side of a coin
Think itself better than the other?
No, for the coins are equal,
In both purpose and of measure

So tell me why you wish to fly?
It is only limiting what you do.
Or am I blind to something greater?
Something more than me or you

Is this dream your security?
That without these limits,
You no longer feel a purpose
And your progress begins to cease?

Then you are mistaken,
And have measured your life all wrong.
Your dreams are only guides
But these limits blur the lines



Progress is not measured by reaching your limits
And surpassing them has no effect
For once you pass your limits,
What will be your purpose then?

Surpassing yourself is moot,
And results in a hollow fade
but surpassing limits placed by others
Is how progress shall be made

You have limited yourself to the sky,
But I have your limits higher
Your potential exceeds your wildest dreams
Yet you think it is an impossible feat

I saw you grow,
And I crafted who you are.
I molded you into who you were
And tried to guide you for who you'd be

You can call me what you wish
I go by many names,
Whether it be God, mother, father, brother or sister
I am all of them, can't you see?

We are all the same, in a sense
As we want to see you grow
But these limits you have set,
Deny your predestined glow

So do not fly,
Do not even dream of it,
Because once you fly too high
You will doubt you can go higher

So, what is your answer, my friend?
Why do you wish to fly?
Is it so you feel a purpose?
A way to live before you die?

There is not a single answer
One being right or wrong,
But there is your answer,
Which is all that matters to me.

___________________________

I got bored...sue me....

This one has better flow to it, but I still don't think it is QUITE perfected.
 

DeletedUser23516

Guest
At least you will be better than Shadis' semi-enjoyable acquaintance. I preferred the original, but both are exceptionally better than what I'm capable of :p
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
The Silence

This is the (modified) poem I stripped from my previous entry. I'm still unhappy with the last stanza...but I can't think of anything lol

The quiet stirs,
It echoes deep within
Its silence is loud
And I know it will never end

I scream out,
To try and cure its rage
But no matter how loud I am
No noise is ever made

I try to cry,
But the tears have left my soul
I am but a quiet man in sorrow
But no man will ever know

So let the quiet stir
Have it never leave
Let the silence manifest and roar
For I shall never let it end
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Nah, he still has emotional stir level 3 to achieve. . Among other things.
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
The Face

Is that your reflection?
Can I come and see?
It looks so familiar...
Like an old version of me

Your face looks the same
Just higher off the ground
Your shoulders are broader
And eyes the same golden brown

Can that truly be you?
I say it cannot be
You look too familiar,
It must be me

Do I not know my own face?
Have I changed who I am?
Am I so different from before
This disgrace I now see?

I'm in a writing mood today lol...
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Meh.. if I was poetically starved this would be amazing but as I just read a poem, yours as it happens, this is just...meh..

Writers block must be easing off eh?
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
Shadis said:
Meh.. if I was poetically starved this would be amazing but as I just read a poem, yours as it happens, this is just...meh..

Writers block must be easing off eh?
Click to expand...

Lil' bit lol...

Try reading it tomorrow :p
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
The Masquerade

The pain is hidden
As if it wasn't there
it eats at me within
I wish it would end tonight

Fear grips me
that I might let it out
It consumes me
but it all changes now

In this

Masquerade
Don't hide your face from me
Masquerade
This mask is its own captivity
Masquerade
and there's nothing to set me free

I have this love
burrowed down inside
It shines through
but only in the night

I try to let it go
but regret holds me back
It consumes me
but I'm changing it once and for all

In this

Masquerade
Don't hide your face from me
Masquerade
This mask is its own captivity
Masquerade
and there's nothing to set me free

So let the mask fade away
and begin your new day
Let the mask fade away
and show the world your true face

Away from the

Masquerade
I wont hide my face
Masquerade
Im no longer its slave
Masquerade
I have been set free

from the

Masquerade

************************

This is an old one of mine that was posted when this section was still dead as anything. I still regard this as one of the best I have ever written (I still despise the first two verses...but aside from that).

Hope you enjoyed it!
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
The Spiral

Up the spiral I go
As far as I can see
No one knows who I am
Nor of whom I seek

This spiral is my own
And is different to each man
But all must climb this tower
To find the master plan

Steadily I climb
These stairs which plague my soul
But for when I shall reach the end
I can never know

I reach for the light
To find the man I seek
But when I open the door,
All I see is me
 

DeletedUser8396

Guest
I should, We could

I should of seen this coming
A thousand miles away
Your voice, always wandering
A window into beauty, every day

I should have heard you coming
A minute from my heart
Your eyes so beautiful,
Captured me from the start

I should have seen you looking
For your place next to me
Your touch, so tenderly
Makes my heart want to bleed

I should have heard you crying
A moment in the past
Your life, so effectively
I just wish we could last
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Varun

Varun

Strategos
Awesome! Now, this is a classic poem. I'm telling u, pebble, you should start a collection of poems soon. :)

P.S. I gotta spread the rep around before repping you, so l8r
 
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