Mail we received from our best friend Cheater of Death. He sure spent a lot of time to say absolutely nothing (I didn't read it, by the way, so if anyone can post a summary please do):
Cheater of death on 2015-01-25 at 23:48
I want to share some facts with you. These are hidden truths that affect us all. Let us note first of all that if you were to compose a list of the things that an intelligent, clear-eyed, and capable young person could do with his or her life to shoo Inferno away like the annoying bug that it is, I suspect that encouraging opportunity, responsibility, and community would figure somewhere in the first three items. Furthermore, I would bet that item nine, ten, or thereabouts would speak to the importance of informing others that Inferno is neither morally nor intellectually consistent. If it were, it wouldn't first blend together presentism and rowdyism in a train wreck of monumental proportions then afterwards decry my observation that its opinion is that our freedoms should survive on the crumbs that fall from the banquet table of masochism. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that most people don't realize that Inferno has already revealed its plans to destroy the sovereignty of all nations and every feeling or expression of patriotism. It revealed these plans in a manifesto bearing all of the hallmarks of having been written by a stultiloquent good-for-nothing. Not only is its manifesto entirely lacking in logic, relentlessly subjective, and completely anecdotal, but we must do everything we can to cross-examine Inferno's spiteful values. Fortunately, discussing the advantages of two-parent families, the essential role of individual and family responsibility, the need for uniform standards of civil behavior, and the primacy of the work ethic is an activity that's right in my wheelhouse. I even know where to begin: by informing people that if Inferno got its way, it'd be able to teach pigheaded concepts to children. Brrrr! It sends chills down my spine just thinking about that.
Inferno says that those who disagree with it should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. Although Inferno obviously cut that statement out of whole cloth, I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. One of the things that impresses me about all of it is the massive number of people who realize that if you hear it spouting off about how it's okay to supplant one form of injustice with another, you should tell it that it has been my position and remains my position that common sense should render unwarranted any claim that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. First three people who message me with a copy of this sentence and this sentence alone I'll give one thousand silver to the city of their choosing. Better yet, tell it to stop getting its opinions from the worst sorts of snooty vagabonds there are and start doing some research of its own. If Inferno opened its eyes, it'd realize that it has for so long been nursing the wrongs it imagines the world had done it that Inferno is determined to exact revenge by making things worse. Inferno will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact because if it didn't, you might come to realize that it says that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years. But then it turns around and says that it has mystical powers of divination and prophecy. You know, you can't have it both ways, Inferno.
Inferno's rank-and-file followers often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. Inferno ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:
Fact: Inferno is known for selectively editing quotes to make it sound like the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel.
Fact: Its missives are a blatantly obvious and cleverly orchestrated script, carefully concocted to destroy the heart and fabric of our nation.
Fact: I shall make every effort, especially in this limited space, to get it off our backs.
In addition, we must take away as many of its opportunities for mischief as possible. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to put to rest the animosities that have kept various groups of people from enjoying anything other than superficial unity. You must be the one to enhance people's curiosity, critical acumen, and aesthetic sensitivity. And you must inform your fellow man that Inferno once tried to hinder economic growth and job creation. If you consider this an exception to the rule then you unquestionably don't understand how Inferno operates. I hope, however, that you at least understand that blackguardism advances its long-term goal of plutocratic global dictatorship. That's too big of a subject to get into here so let me instead discuss how if it were up to me, I, for one, would create a political atmosphere in which the zero-sum model of group competition gives way to coalitions among groups so that they can work together to invite all the people who have been harmed by Inferno to continue to express and assert their concerns in a constructive and productive fashion. At a minimum, I would like to see more people acknowledge that Inferno and I are as different as chalk and cheese. It, for instance, wants to interfere with the most important principles of democracy. I, on the other hand, want to think outside the box. That's why I need to tell you that it wants to get me thrown in jail. It can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but it does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that Inferno says that it's a wonderful, charitable organization. Such statements are not just wrong; they're worse than wrong. They reinforce a dangerous and insidious but sadly common misunderstanding among many people. They disguise the fact that it says that everyone would be a lot safer if it were to monitor all of our personal communications and financial transactions—even our library records. Why on Earth does it need to monitor our library records? There is widespread agreement in asking that question but there is great disagreement in answering it. As this letter draws to a close, I should state that I regret not having been able to say more about how Inferno is the spawn of Satan. However, I hope I've told you enough to spur you on to find out more for yourself.