Vote for dirkkuyt - The People's Champion

dirkkuyt

Guest
!!!WARNING!!!
This is a Public Service Announcement

A long time ago, in the misty beginnings of time around the 12th of October 2010, the fair world of Kappa and its forums was formed. This place of astonishing natural beauty, was so eye-catching that people from all distant lands began to flock towards it to revel in the wonderful environment of Kappa forums, and for many millennia months all the residents lived in a utopian society of peace where merry-making and fun was the order of the day.
William-Frith-English-Merry-Making.jpg
Not many people are aware that during this splendid period, events were dictated by a benevolent overlord whose name was Dirk Kuyt. It was this man, whose nobility and leadership skills cannot be questioned, that was the root cause of the single most fruitful period on the fair Kappa forums. An artist's depiction of this mysterious but all-powerful High King has been known to bring fully-grown men to their knees and cry (obviously because of the good-looks ;) )
article-1348888-0CD58418000005DC-445_224x642.jpg
It is true as they say, all good things must come to an end, and the Supreme Overlord had to leave the fair Kappa forums and concentrate on other commitments, namely playing for the one and only Liverpool Football Club. He went on to score 15 goals in 41 matches, including a hat-trick against the Dark Knights of Manchester United.
Liverpools-Dirk-Kuyt-cele-007.jpg
During his absence, the fair Kappa forums had fallen into chaos and disarray. The once glorious microcosm of nature had been turned into a wasteland, with little survivors and a few wild barbarians picking off corpses like carrion crows.
wasteland3.jpg
SuperStock_4141-21385.jpg
The most influential of these wild neanderthals went by the name of Rudicus. This sick, cold-hearted man has spammed all of this fair forum until he brought about the downfall of it: in order to enable him to transform it into his own gruesome playground and allow his minions to pillage and ransack as they please. Throughout his time in charge, Rudicus has fallen into gluttony and has become addicted to narcotics and drained the forum's supply of food and 'recreational drugs'.
stoner2.jpg
Now, after a long-gruelling season of helping Liverpool to success mediocrity :(, Dirk Kuyt is back and has begun to fight back against the horrible oppression of Rudicus and his spamming and help the fair Kappa forumites win their FREEDOM!
dirkheart1.jpg

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. I am the legendary Dirk Kuyt, and I will defeat the evil of Rudicus. However, I cannot do it alone. I need YOUR help. If you want to rid the once fair Kappa forums to their former glory, I need your support in this forthcoming election. To put it simply:
I need your vote, your fellow forumites need your vote, and the fair Kappa forums need your vote.

VOTE FOR DIRK KUYT!
 

Cauthonus

Guest
Mmm, u are quite convincing....will you promise to quit PE and join the Resistance if you win?
 

dirkkuyt

Guest
Erm.. yea.. of course :rolleyes:
Don't worry I'm as trustworthy as this guy :D
nick-clegg1.jpg
 

LordFDS

Guest
Sound convincing to me!

Let me go over to Rudicus's house... sit and smoke a blunt... and think about it!
 

Justpaps

Guest
When you walk through a storm,
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm,
There's a golden sky,
only thing is that Rudicus is the one making the clouds with his smoking so yes sorry guess you will never walk out of this one..

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown....

Walk On! Walk On! With hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone....

You'll never walk alone
( when your PE you will pretty much always walk alone or got into Vmode... )

So walk out of PE and you will see the light the Resistance is here.
:pro:
 

Repent

Guest
Best campaign yet imo,although you do need to elaborate more on your campaign promises with your devilish looks,your outstanding grammar and your humerus wit.

I look forward to your next installment,keep up the good work and you may just get my vote.
 

Mac Edwards

Guest
Dirk,

You are seriously contender #1, it escaped you last month for a few votes, I see you cruising in the lead for this coming election. :)

you'll get my vote but as Repent said, I too want to see more!
 

dirkkuyt

Guest
Thanks for praise guys :D you can look forward to some more instalments in the campaign in the near future
 

dirkkuyt

Guest
My Electoral Manifesto
I promise to...
- Lead the uprising against the tyrant Rudicus
- Take measures to prevent the tyrant Rudicus from returning to the fair Kappa forums
- Ensure that the fair Kappa forums become more glorious than they ever were
- Seize the forum's illegal legal weed supply and divide it equally amongst its citizens
- Eliminate all spammers (cough cabz ;)) to allow my fellow forumites to post without fear of being suffocated from sheer volume of off-topic posts :p
- Score 54 goals for Liverpool leading them to a domestic treble and bring back the glory days to Anfield :cool:
- Not hack anyone's phone or waste taxpayer's money on needless expenses (for the cynical British posters!)
- Unfortunately due to the global financial crisis I will have to increase taxation on emoticon usage



My Party Motto
All forumites are equal, but some forumites are more equal than others


PS: if I think of more over time I will add them to this list, I'm a very flexible candidate :D
PPS: I should have mentioned this somewhere else but I can't find anywhere else to put it, my party's name will be The Liberal Conservative Social Democratic Nationalist Communist Green Party, or LCSDNCGP for short!
 

Thomas The Magnificent

Guest
!!!WARNING!!!
This is a Public Service Announcement

A long time ago, in the misty beginnings of time around the 12th of October 2010, the fair world of Kappa and its forums was formed. This place of astonishing natural beauty, was so eye-catching that people from all distant lands began to flock towards it to revel in the wonderful environment of Kappa forums, and for many millennia months all the residents lived in a utopian society of peace where merry-making and fun was the order of the day.
William-Frith-English-Merry-Making.jpg
Not many people are aware that during this splendid period, events were dictated by a benevolent overlord whose name was Dirk Kuyt. It was this man, whose nobility and leadership skills cannot be questioned, that was the root cause of the single most fruitful period on the fair Kappa forums. An artist's depiction of this mysterious but all-powerful High King has been known to bring fully-grown men to their knees and cry (obviously because of the good-looks ;) )
article-1348888-0CD58418000005DC-445_224x642.jpg
It is true as they say, all good things must come to an end, and the Supreme Overlord had to leave the fair Kappa forums and concentrate on other commitments, namely playing for the one and only Liverpool Football Club. He went on to score 15 goals in 41 matches, including a hat-trick against the Dark Knights of Manchester United.
Liverpools-Dirk-Kuyt-cele-007.jpg
During his absence, the fair Kappa forums had fallen into chaos and disarray. The once glorious microcosm of nature had been turned into a wasteland, with little survivors and a few wild barbarians picking off corpses like carrion crows.
wasteland3.jpg
SuperStock_4141-21385.jpg
The most influential of these wild neanderthals went by the name of Rudicus. This sick, cold-hearted man has spammed all of this fair forum until he brought about the downfall of it: in order to enable him to transform it into his own gruesome playground and allow his minions to pillage and ransack as they please. Throughout his time in charge, Rudicus has fallen into gluttony and has become addicted to narcotics and drained the forum's supply of food and 'recreational drugs'.
stoner2.jpg
Now, after a long-gruelling season of helping Liverpool to success mediocrity :(, Dirk Kuyt is back and has begun to fight back against the horrible oppression of Rudicus and his spamming and help the fair Kappa forumites win their FREEDOM!
dirkheart1.jpg

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. I am the legendary Dirk Kuyt, and I will defeat the evil of Rudicus. However, I cannot do it alone. I need YOUR help. If you want to rid the once fair Kappa forums to their former glory, I need your support in this forthcoming election. To put it simply:
I need your vote, your fellow forumites need your vote, and the fair Kappa forums need your vote.

VOTE FOR DIRK KUYT!

Glory Glory Man United!
 

Thomas The Magnificent

Guest
Supporting Liverpool is a criminal offence, forcing police officers to sleep with laughter? Tut, tut, tut.
 

cabz bii

Guest
nothing wrong with liverpool :)

still not as good as the famous

GLASGOW CELTIC THOUGH
 

dirkkuyt

Guest
Kappa Story Part I

Seeing as I have safely made it through the initial weeding out of candidates, I'm gonna post an update to my campaign right here :D I honestly had very few ideas for what I'd do but I feel I needed to do something, seeing as czar is getting help from *ahem* non-Kappa sources :p

My Kappa Story
When I joined world Kappa, I came with a few friends of mine from world Beta and formed the alliance Dragon Warriors. This surprisingly still exists today in the form of Dragon Warriors Elite. Although I came from another world, I was still very much new to Grepolis and I did not know how to play well. After a few weeks of peaceful city growing, I had come to the stage where I could found a new city, which I consequentially did on a neighbouring island. Little did I know the impact this would have on me. After week of peaceful city growing, my second city was violently attacked by an someone who was much bigger than me. Nooby messages asking why I was being attacked to both attacker and attacker's alliance Phantom Knights were sent, but I now know I was simply being farmed. I asked for help from my equally nooby alliance mates and only received it from two players, but this feeble defense was wiped out pretty quickly. Frustrated and isolated by a whole ocean, I left Dragon Warriors.

Now in alliance wilderness, I began to look around for some new employers. I decided a good choice would be Destiny. They were in O45, just like me. But unfortunately, although I was in a core ocean I had been in a non-core alliance until then, and did not realise Destiny was on the point of collapse and was not very good in the first place. However during my time with Destiny probably the most game-changing thing happened to me, a person I shared an island with asked me for help to break a siege on his first city by PK. This person was called Damegruev, and naturally enough being the nice guy I am I sent all my troops to help break it but alas, I was unsuccessful. But after that moment, me and Damegruev developed a good friendship. We also hatched a secret but very outlandish plan to retake the city, but whilst any efforts would have been futile at least we had good fun scheming! I soon left Destiny, and asked Damegruev if I could join his alliance, HASHASSINS. In HASH I met some amazing people, including KingOfTheBurbs, sekeriadis, rockyj34, rshaw86 and many more I have forgotten about. These group of players have taught me more about Grepolis than any other alliance could and helped remove some of my noobiness! HASH's pact with PK also stopped my friendly farmer from annoying me for much longer. However, O45 was not a safezone and some of the guys left for Strike Force and Chillax, leaving sekeriadis as the leader of HASH. Meanwhile KOB had left Strike Force and set up a small alliance called Public Enemy. Some of KOB's friends joined him at PE, and soon enough HASH merged into PE, and me moving along with it.

Although newly formed, we quickly set our sights on consolidating an area we could call our own because O45 was so dominated by SF (who were much stronger back then than they are now) and Chillax (the no. 1 alliance). We then took the cities of the two best players of New World Marauders, and decided to make a home around the O45, O35, O46 corner. O35 was largely dead, with no big alliance dominating but a lot of little ones that would be easy to pick off. The largest alliance in O35 was Art of War, and this quick war also brought the first instance of the "Take the best and eat the rest" policy. I myself was still a small player at that point and could not move over to O35 without risk of stretching myself and so did not take part too much. We gained some very good players, including Lord Gryphon Prime. A few other skirmishes occurred with medium-sized alliances in O35 including GREECE and The Third Tau (later to be TUA MRA Corp). Meanwhile in O45, Chillax was being attacked from all sides by VRoD and Confederate States, and in order to get rid of inactives they merged into PE.

I remember voting against it though when there was a poll! This however was an unexpected push into the limelight and immediately we were expected to fight back the tidal wave of attacks coming from North and East. Eventually though we managed to organise some of the most successful defence plans of frontline cities I've ever seen. The sheer level of teamwork and work-rate involved was phenomenal. I didn't do much attacking being a little southern speck, but I'm proud of what I achieved in protecting the cities of people under pressure. Eventually we turned a rapid retreat into a stalemate, we made a pact with CS and after a while VRoD followed suit. A complicated agreement was reached, with O44 being decided as VRoD territory and O45 as PE's, and a city swap began on a 1:1 ratio to allow border players to feel more secure. Throughout this war we were also being picked at from the east by Crimson (later Confederate) Revelation. This 'war' was publicised on here as a PnP and certainly made us look bad, but the other side of the story was not said and at the time we were involved in a very-large scale war. This PnP also coincided with me starting to read the external forums regularly, but I did not post. After the VRoD/CS war though, it was fairly tit for tat and they had some excellent players in Remorce, x Apocalypse x and Dyames. As most people know though Remorce quit Kappa for very understandable reasons and fortunately CR were not the same without him! OKCAdonis also quit around this time, starting events in motion leading to the collapse of CS.

A few recruits of VRoD in O35/O36 left VRoD after the peace deal, and called themselves Enigma. Initially they were underestimated, but it soon became clear despite our best efforts we could hardly make a dent into their defences. I myself had one city in O36 though and it was very good BP factory :D A peace deal was made out of mutual respect and our relationship has gone from strength to strength since then.

On the forums a new menace was talked about, the Tau/TUA MRA alliances. Initially there were a lot of alliances which contained Tau in their name (like the Crimsons), but when they invited clivestraddle and his Border Maurauders to the party, he quickly took over and changed the name from Tau to TUA on those alliances. Unfortunately for him his master plan was all well and good, but his own legions of inexperienced noobs could not carry it out for him. A coalition of PE, VRoD and SF declared war, and this war was pure slaughter. We quickly took over 200 cities before clive quit due to 'other commitments' and TUA was broken up. The smaller players were all slowly rimmed, and many of the larger ones joined SF, signalling the start of SF's change from O45 powerhouse into a Border Marauders reincarnate (with a few exceptions).

After TUA was dealt with, CS and CR disbanded and many of the players were on the open market. CS largely went to VRoD and CR to us, but here the first cracks in the PE/VRoD ceasefire appeared as Dragot's nemesis Damia joined us. Before anything major happened on that front, many players were starting to leave due to boredom, including Damegruev. I very nearly followed him and pressed the delete account button. KOB sensed the danger we were in, and decided a war against long-time pact PK would cure us of our disease. We did the honourable thing and sent PK leader a warning we would attack and gave him a time delay before the first ones were launched. With the early warning, there was some initial resistance and retaliation, but leader A3 the Great ran to VM and again we had another slaughter victory to celebrate, picking off splinter alliances such as NEW BLOOD with relative ease. (Interestingly some of these members joined us eventually and also were picked off easily by RS/FC recently)

As the southern war was ongoing, a few not-so-pleasant conversations occurred on the shared VRoD/PE forum between Dragot and Damia, and there was even a poll to decide if the ceasefire should be broken over a personal argument. However the pact stayed but also some suspicion with it. It wasn't until Dragot went on VM and his replacement lady sinful became leader that the situation deteriorated. Again there were insulting conversations, but this time between KOB and Lady S and this time in private, but she had went one step too far insulting our leader and we began preparations for war. The key factor in the new war happened before it even started. Somehow, I don't know how he did it, KOB persuaded all the biggest players in VRoD to join us. I suspect they did not respect their new leader, but this is speculation. With the new influx of players PE became the number 1 alliance in the world and the whole balance of the war drifted heavily in our favour. We have now removed VRoD's majority holds in O44, O54 and O55.
 

dirkkuyt

Guest
Kappa Story Part II & Candidate Information

My Kappa Story Continued..
Since then we have seen war break out in the west with another slaughter between Oceans Alliance and about 3 PE members and Enigma and also a similar story in the east between the Crimsons and the ex-CS/CR players. Rogue have warred us in the north and it seems to be level pegging up there, but correct me if I'm wrong. Also very recently RS/FC have started to fight us in the south, and after an avalanche of losses on our side from the weaker ex-PK/NEW BLOOD guys (this is not diminishing RS/FC's excellent achievements), maybe we will see it even out with RS/FC advancing north and the stronger players moving south. Although this debate is for another day!

Personally since the TUA war I have been very much involved trying to help us achieve 100% domination of O45 in terms of cities, taking a lot of inactives and no alliance players, although I don't know what we will do about SF! lol! I am now in the process of moving south and reinforcing the guys down there. Whilst I may have a big mouth on here I most definitely haven't walked the walk yet properly in-game (see my low BPs!) but I have never claimed to be a great Grepolis player. Taking inactives may be tedious and not very respectable but hey, someone has to do it otherwise we end up with a situation like us losing inactives' cities to enemies. I may have considered myself the unofficial PE spokesman to the external forums for a while but I hope czar, sploggo, cauthonus, rudicus and the rest entice more PE guys out with your hatin' :p

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow! I definitely wrote a lot more than I expected there! lol. This is double post because there is a 10,000 character limit or something like that. I intended this to be my own personal journey through Kappa, but I suppose as my own personal story got boring I told the tale from my alliance's perspective rather than my personal one. Anyway I hope you enjoyed reading it!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here are some facts and figures about me (which may or may not be tongue-in-cheek), in order to let me get closer to my voters and also prove I am a serious candidate.
My Credentials and Information
Name: Dirk Kuyt
Age: 31
Date if Birth: 22 July 1980
Place of Birth: Katwijk aan Zee, Netherlands
Height: 6 feet 0 inches
Occupation: Football Player
Current Employers: Liverpool FC
Club Stats: 547 appearances (215 goals)
International Stats: 78 caps (22 goals)
Awards achieved: KNVB Cup 02/03; Dutch Golden Boot 2003, 2006; Mr World 2008, 2009 & 2010; Kappa Forums POTM August 2011
Favourite Colour: Pink
Favourite Food: People CAKE!
Favourite Song: This
Random Fact: I own a charity dedicated to helping disadvantage children in the Netherlands and in the Third World


And remember..
VOTE FOR DIRK KUYT!
 

Cauthonus

Guest
Great story Dirk, you have my vote!
....wait have you left PE??? nahh, sorry mate..
 
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