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thedemon447

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as off topic as this may be i've been writing lately when waiting for things in grepo so i'd thought it would be nice if i showed you guys what im working on.

I will gladly accept any constructive criticism

and if anyone points out a mistake i will plus rep them :D




Obscuraque
By Paul Portee

Who am I? I go by several names Lance Aldape, Erik Messerly , Nelson Fritch and many more. I am all of these people and none both at the same time but my true name is Obscuraque. I’m more of a shadow drifting through the night sky 1 day I will be in one town the next gone forever. My residency cannot be permanent or they will find me. The corrupted souls working for the machine, who seek one purpose to follow directions. Only if they sat and thought about who they were receiving orders from maybe they would understand why I do what I do. Maybe their thought process is slower than mine and can’t detect the truth behind all of the lies. The corruption of their leaders who demand those guilty not to be killed but order the death to valiant souls who are just tools to the machine. They don’t realize what we could accomplish if we were united in a 1 world government the possibilities would be endless. But! Alas they cannot see what I see because their eyes are clouded with propaganda, media, luxuries, jealousy, and lust.

You could say I am frickled mainly because I am against killing but do it so often. I combat my grief and regret with beliefs that it will one day pave the road for a new world order. With peace! No war and unbelievable technologies. Maybe I am Wrong though and all I’m doing is feeding into the machine by killing others keeping wars alive and destroying other dreams to keep my own. I get my kill targets from orders from higher ups I never meet them just receive a target and money once they are dead so the more I think about the more I wonder am I the tool working for the machine? is my murder justified? Am I a heartless criminal? The one thing I know for sure is that I too am corrupted and worrying about those I kill will only bring me down hopefully after these kills I will be welcomed into the higher ups. For now I must finish my next target.

I reach my destination at around 6:31 am. My target Errol A. Daniels sits in his chair in front of the fireplace. Errol is a lawyer a very good one in fact. He’s is able to send an innocent man to jail for 1st degree murder and that’s why I’m here to guarantee he will never send an innocent to jail again. The front door is unlocked so it allows me to access his house without difficulty and as long as I am precautions I doubt he will hear me because his focus is on his newspaper. I creep up behind my target, just as I thought he has no clue these will be the last few second of his life.

So I draw closer to my target and I can hear his calm and settle heart beat unknowing of what is about to happen I creep up closer and closer. So close I can smell the stench of coffee coming off his breath so I unsheathe my life stealing dagger ever so slowly as I pick what would be the best spot to strike him at. Even as all this is going on he has no clue he just sits in his chair bundled up in a Blanket sitting in front of the warm fireplace. by now I have picked a spot, I throw my left hand tightly over his mouth as my right hand jabs my dagger swiftly into his neck right below his right side ear he struggles for a few seconds as his soul slips from reality and falls into the devils cold unforgiving arms. I then clean up the crime scene and leave as quickly as I had come when I arrived back at my hotel room I stilled smelled the fresh scent of blood lingering from my dagger and thought what his wife and children would think when they wake up and realize that their dad will never say goodnight again. He might have been a corrupt lawyer but now he's a dead one!!I slap myself out of that thought and tell myself "it’s not my problem now" for I have to be as cold as the devil himself for I am assassin my whole purpose is to kill others.

I’ts quite the depressing life I live to kill someone and wait for my next target. I never know who my next target will be or how I will receive his information all I know is that the higher ups will get me the information to me. The higher ups I am there solider nothing more. If they were the puppet master I’d be the puppet master I hear on the news of rebellion hmm its like asking for death but they believe they fight for a greater peruse. How most humans think of life is unbelievable and very hypocritical to create peace through means of war. Two ways will us humans see peace or at least temporary peace if we unite as one or if we die

I haven’t slept in days I believe I need some rest my eyes grow heavier by the minute. Even now as tired as I am no sleep will come to me all I see is the gleaming eyes of my victims staring at me and questioning my actions Describing my the horrors hell awaits for me.

So I shout”The devil does not wish to join me anytime soon for he fears my arrival!”

And they continu to wisper the most horrible of things then my head begins to feel light and my eyes begin to blacken
 
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BasilBarfly

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Shouldnt this be in the Agora under creative writing?
 

CheezeHead

Strategos
For starters, as Basil stated above, this is off topic and should be in Creative Writing. There's really no reason for you to have two threads for it, one being in a world thread.

Anyway, that being said, looks like we have a few creative people amongst our midst. I was actually thinking of hosting a creative writing competition, so I'll probably speak to Tyrion about it fairly soon. Just wondering, thedemon447, if you'd be interested in participating?
 

jonorocks1

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haha yea its kinda in the wrong place. But what they meant was good job, sounds interesting, is there gonna be a sequel??
 

thedemon447

Guest
For starters, as Basil stated above, this is off topic and should be in Creative Writing. There's really no reason for you to have two threads for it, one being in a world thread.

Anyway, that being said, looks like we have a few creative people amongst our midst. I was actually thinking of hosting a creative writing competition, so I'll probably speak to Tyrion about it fairly soon. Just wondering, thedemon447, if you'd be interested in participating?

Of course :D
 

thedemon447

Guest
haha yea its kinda in the wrong place. But what they meant was good job, sounds interesting, is there gonna be a sequel??
adn ty

p.s this is only a portion of the story
 
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