Agony Aunt - Week 8!

Sapphire Sorrows

Guest
We welcome back an old friend this week in our questions. Let’s get right into it!

Dear A.A.

Once more I’d like to thank you for your excellent advice to my problems in week 5. As always you gave me the inspiration to overcome my problems, however it leaves me with another couple of simple issues as a result of my actions which I’ll explain momentarily after I give you the background of my actions.

I took notice of your warning about not being able to supply all the internal investigators and the anti-terrorism squad with tea & biscuits should I decide to remove the local police force and so took your second suggestion which was much more simple and effective.
Unfortunately having no experience in “borrowing” vans I had to enlist the help of my friend who is quite professional at this and found us the nicest van I’ve ever seen from a lovely friendly dealership. I can’t believe how happy they were to assist, they even stayed open until 3am for him to collect it he told me, how helpful of them is that?

My lovely wife was only too happy to knit me a nice balaclava & even one for my friend who insisted on driving. Sure enough we cruised around looking for the friend of my late pronunciation delinquent acquaintance and found the miscreant loitering outside a ladies clothes shop looking longingly at a red evening dress. My friend screeched to a halt & I jumped out pulling a large sack over the target’s head and dragged him screaming into the back of the van for a nice drive around town and he decided he would start smashing his face into my clenched fist.

Once I did what I had to do I then had to think of disposal. Now this is where my first little problem begins. I thought that rather than being boring & just digging a hole in the ground, making fertilizer or anything I’ve done before I’d adapt your suggestion of building a piranha pond. As I’m quite green fingered I decided to invest in a venus fly trap farm. I bought up 50000 of these wonderful plants and for the last 3 weeks they’ve had a lovely diet of diced fresh meat to dine on. This is why I’ve been absent while looking after them. Unfortunately now I have run out of tasty morsels to feed them and they’re beginning to look a little hungry. I’ve advertised locally trying to sell them to good homes but unfortunately only 3 have been taken. Please help, where can I move the rest of this living disposal machine too.

The second little problem is this. The lovely balaclava my wife knitted for me has shrunk in the wash and no longer fits. I hate seeing things go to waste and under normal circumstances would donate any old clothes to the local homeless shelter, but I don’t think it would be wise donating DNA evidence of a crime to charity and on top of that I’m not sure a homeless person would necessarily want a pink balaclava. What should I do?

Gratefully looking forwards to your kind & wise words

Anonymous

P.S. the tea tree ointment worked a treat on the acid burns


Dear Anonymous,

Welcome back! I have to admit I was worried by your absence, I thought that you had fallen into a pickle from which you could not talk yourself out of. It is good to see you are working through your issues on your own, and I have to say Venus Fly Traps were an ingenious add on to my suggestion.
Now; to tackle your problems.
Firstly, It does seem like you over estimated how many VFT’s you needed. Besides selling them at a loss, you could always donate them to your local gardens…or if you would like to help out schools in your area feel free to donate them to local science classes for study. You may even get reimbursement – if you can convince the principals of the plant’s worth.
Secondly, Your lovely balaclava. It sounds like your wife put some effort into it – it is a shame for it to go to waste. I hope you learnt a lesson about washing wool… never in a hot wash cycle! I think the only way to salvage your wife’s work here would be to alter it and put it to another use – if she pulls a few stiches she can use it as a novelty tea cosy!
I wish you luck and continued happiness,

~Auntie Sapphie


The 7 Deadly Sin Awards!

Lust ~ The player I most want to be based on their performance in game


This week this cup goes to Ellaranna. Not only was she the first to 25 cities, to 5k and 10k militia kills but she is also top of the fighter’s rankings – and you should all know by now how I feel about people who balance both ABP and DBP. Well done Ellaranna – you deserve this cup.

Anger ~ the player who shows the most aggression in game


Eclipsin12 has pulled in from of Maximus024 this week, taking the Anger cup! Congratulations Eclipsin, you defeated the man we thought was unstoppable! 13k ABP ahead, keep going strong!

Sloth ~ the active member of the forum who isn’t so active in game


This week I’m swapping it round, more active in game than on forum. It goes to Achiles. Who is a member of Lords of Pella Elite. Taking his self proclaimed noob alliance to rule the world with only 2 posts in the externals, I wish him luck!

Covetousness ~ The City I want most based on name and points


Cronos Rage, which belongs to Kronos the Titan1. Mainly because he spells Cronus differently every time. I could not take the city as he is on vacation mode, still.
(I spelt Kronus differently to match his efforts, if you have another spelling of the Titan of Time’s name feel free to say so in the comments and I will work it in)

Gluttony~ The Player who takes the most cities in game


Was there any question of this? Ellaranna with her 26 cities takes the cup! Well done – the next milestone is 50 isn’t it?

Pride ~ The Best Alliance in Pella (My Opinion)


Defeat – with only one member they are still in the top 50. Kudos to Vandrus who apparently kept going!

Envy ~ The Alliance I want to be in based on performance in game


The Dark Knights...just seems appropriate with the latest Batman film being released.

Well that is all for A.A. this week my dears – don’t forget to send in your questions for next week!

~Auntie Sapphie
 

Ellaranna

Guest
loved that question. hehe

thx for the cups as well, and im probably gonna go up even higher in the defense and fighter ranks based on all the incoming attacks I havevheading at this MOS citie I have in siege. already gained a tonne of bp from it.

looking forward to next weeks AA
 

Sapphire Sorrows

Guest
You are welcome for the cups, there will be another award given out next week - the detective award. It won't be the same as other cups (obviously) But the one who wins it will be henceforth known as Master Detective.

It is not hard to win the detective cup, just tell me who Anonymous is :)
 

jonorocks1

Guest
Ohhh this will be fun :p Any limit to the amount of guesses??
 

Sapphire Sorrows

Guest
Nope :) But i will only accept one guess at a time, and in Private mail. That can be on the forum or ingame :)
 

chrisg2003bt

Phrourach
loved that question. hehe

thx for the cups as well, and im probably gonna go up even higher in the defense and fighter ranks based on all the incoming attacks I havevheading at this MOS citie I have in siege. already gained a tonne of bp from it.

looking forward to next weeks AA
Was that the one you ran away from? I'm curious? :)

Unfortunately vandrus was another one who felt silver could not defend him. He definitely deserves the cup. :)
 

Sapphire Sorrows

Guest
Only one person so far has gone for the Detective Cup - Aren't you curious as to who is the witty fellow with the issues?

A message from Anonymous;

Anonymous said:
Dear A.A.

I noticed in the week 8 Agony Aunt post you are giving an award for "Master Detective" to anyone who works out who i am. I would like to enter this competition myself, so my guess is that Anonymous is me :)

I look forwards to finding out if i am correct

Kindest regards

Anonymous
 
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chrisg2003bt

Phrourach
I thought you hated the 303 guys?
Never said that. We didn't like the fact they ran away to you, and we thought it was hilarious when they ghosted. However, for someone who was sensible to leave silver and go it alone and someone who didn't ghost. Vandrus wouldn't really be included.

I don't think any of us has ever said we hated them. Bit strong. :p
 

Sapphire Sorrows

Guest
So are any of you off topic people here with guesses on who Anonymous is or are you going to go back to threads relevant to your own discussion? :)
 

Sapphire Sorrows

Guest
Someone already guessed you nodcrush - 2 people actually. Both wrong