Some Bad News


My Dear Lords and Ladies, esteemed gentleman and gentle women, emperors, empresses, princes, princesses, kings and queens....

I bring you bad tidings.

It started a few weeks ago. I woke up early one morning and my eyes were all gummy. You know how, when you wake up, you open your eyes and the light is a little too bright, and the young boys and girls in the bed with you are all blurry from the fuzzy squint of your just woke up eyes?

This wasn't that.

No, my eyes wouldn't even open! I had to take my thumb and forefinger and sorta rub them over my eye lashes (Which, btw, are very long and lovely!) and pick the crusted goo out of my eyes. I was frightened at first. Was I blind?! Please Hera, may it never be!

Good fortune, I was not blind. After some moments of working the crusted goo out of my eyes and then running some water into my eyeballs to get rid of the crusted goo that fell into my eyeball when I was scrapping it off my eyelashes, I went to see the Priest. He explained to me that it was a common ailment known as Pink Eye.

Well, here is the bad news. Shortly after discovering I was ill with the Pink Eye, I had lunch with my farmers and merchants, my flower pickers extraordinaire and my favorite flower girls. We were planning on heading over to Brir's place and deliver lot's of lovely flowers. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how catching Pink Eye is! Obviously, my flower delivery boys all contracted the sickness and transferred it to the flowers they were going to deliver.

Now there are several alliances who are so afflicted with the disease, they call themselves Conjunctivitis!

I recommend staying far away from the Pink Eye alliance, friends. At least until this passes. It really is no fun waking up in the morning and thinking yourself blind.


Baggi the Coward


My dear friend Baggi,

Tis a shame you caught such affliction as I was very much looking forward to accepting the flowers but that madman Dritki and his evil henchmen had other plans. They attempted to plunder the fine city of Rohan so I had to order it's defence.(D)

The assault didn't go too well for these evil plunderers, at first we gave them hope and drew them in, then we unleashed what can only be described as horrific carnage upon the aggressors, the fish around Rohan Bay will eat for a month from the flesh of dead sailors and soldiers. Had he continued with his foolishness no doubt the colonists would have been fish food too. (SW)

Rohan Beach is now littered with the remains of those light ships and now the task of clearing it up begins as it is holiday season in two weeks and the tourists would be put off.

On the plus side we have plenty of wood for sale, so would you like to buy some?

You need a lot of coffins..:D
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It was surely a massacre of mighty proportions! Your incredible armies stomped down upon the Spartan heads without thought or regard for their own safety.

Such a clever strategy, it was, leaving the caves free of evil, back stabbing henchmen! Allowing those filthy Spartan spies free access to all the information available.

Maybe I too should catch Pink Eye, so that I could see more clearly how not to pay silver to my spies. Maybe then the enemy would take an interest in me. I even bought some new clothes to entice you all.

Sadly, only Plohish31 seems to care enough to come and visit me. Which I completely understand, each time he comes to visit he wreaks havoc on my livestock and the husbands of our wives and daughters. Such a mighty foe is he, and brave, that he creates fear just at the mention of his name. Which I have outlawed now in our towns and cities, to keep the populace from becoming too panicked.

How much more terrible would it be for our poor citizens if Plohish was joined by the mighty Brir and the rest of his alliance?

I just wet myself thinking about the possibility. Too frightening to think upon for more than a moment.


Sir Brir attack? :eek:

Oh no.. Tis a rare occurence my honourable foe, I wet myself at the thought of such disdainful actions.. So I leave those sort of things to only the most fearsome of our warriors.

Furious, vengeful creatures such as Plodalf the White and 'Returned by Hades from Hell' Lepel.

They are much more suited to that sort of carnage. After a great victory such as Rohan civilised men like myself drink wine and enjoy the company of beautiful women, but not those two, Oh no.. not them. :Angry:

They drink enemies blood from their decapitated skulls and dance around the Maypoles like madmen and although Maypole dancing is our favourite pastime no one dares join in with them, we are all too afraid we may step on their toes and be their next victim.

So you see my predicament.. As much as I'd like to honour you with a visit, bringing with me the latest Avon catalogue I'm afraid that after witnessing the might of such powerful aggressors as Plo and Lepel you would merely laugh at my feeble attempts.

So I'll hide behind my mothers skirt as always.. ;)


Sadly, this Pink Eye infestation is spreading further and further into our ocean.

Can it be stopped? Whatever will we do? Will everything be rose colored for the rest of my life?

Stay tuned!


Yes, it is true that the 'pink eye clan' aka Coniunctis Viribus is a very contagious one. :eek:

A mighty alliance that has the capability to spread into any ocean it desires, a mighty army that enjoys war in all it's entirety and has been very much enjoying it against such worthy opponents as the Spartans. But now I hear whispers.

Whispers that the dove of peace could be spreading her wings in an attempt to extend peace between such mortal enemies. (dip)

Can it be true? Who would we fight? Surely only the Spartans are brave enough to take on our might? Who else would dare confront us?

We shall have to see if all the rumours are true, but we need to fight someone. Who will it be if not those honourable foes? Who would issue a challenge? (SW)


As per my other post, you must get back to the writing, these diatribes from players are the most enjoyable part of the forums