DeletedUser
Guest
As requested by a friend I am posting this little skit I made onto the forum 
Colony Ship
Noob: I have a question about Colony Ships.
Professor AppleBob: What is your question?
Noob: Well I was looking at the unit info on a Colony Ship and saw there defensive value is 500. But how come when I got attacked with 1 Lightship yesterday I lost the Colony Ship I had sitting in my harbor.
Professor AppleBob: You fool, Colony Ships are not defensive ships. They are used to take other cities. *waves his arms angrily in the air*
Phoenician Merchant
Noob: Oh no there are pirates raiding my city?!?!?! They kidnapped some of my troops and are demanding ransom. They also took my resources and are selling them on the black market for ridiculously low prices. How is he attacking me, I thought I was in beginner's protection?
Professor AppleBob: Calm down there big guy, everything is alright. The Phoenician Merchant offers you troops at a cheaper price, he doesn't take then from you he brought them to your city in case you wanted to buy some of them. He also offers the resources at a cheaper price to help you build up your city, and he is not a pirate. He just trades with you in one of your cities.
Noob: So is he like Santa Claus? Can he also give me a unicorn now?
Professor AppleBob: *facepalm* No he is not like Santa Claus.
Noob: Oh almost forgot. Which city does he go to?
Professor AppleBob: Whichever he wants, how about you go ask him.
Resources
Noob: I have a question about the man, the one who works in the Silver Mine by himself.
Professor AppleBob: So what is your question?
Noob: How does he work 24/7 collecting silver out of the mine by himself. That is a difficult and tiresome job to do without eating. Do the gods give the strength to work an eternity without eating or resting?
Professor AppleBob: Oh Lord, please save me. *begging on his knees*
Noob: From what sir, those pirates?
Professor AppleBob: *facepalm* I already told you that the Phoenician Merchant is not a pirate, he just trades with you in one of your cities.
City Wall
Noob: I have a question about the city wall. Can I say it? It might be a bug.
Professor AppleBob: Just spit it out already.
Noob: Well I was looking and see that the city wall does not surround the whole city. So can't someone just send in a sneak attack from where the farm is and just loot the city like that without having to fight my army.
Professor AppleBob: No they can't send an attack like that and it is not a bug. *Sigh* I still have 5 more years left until I can retire.
Light Ships and Fireships
Noob: I was wondering what the light ships shoots out to destroy biremes. Is it orange juice? Or is it sneezing out cheese? If it is sneezing out cheese, should I take it to the hospital it might be sick?
Professor AppleBob: It is fire, isn't that kind of obvious. Also Light Ships aren't sick, they are doing what they were made to do!!!
Noob: Well I thought about that but it doesn't make any sense. I mean how come it isn't called a fire ship then.
Professor AppleBob: Because there is already a ship with that name they can't have two different ships with the same name.
Noob: Oh well that leads me to my next question which is about fireships. How do Fireships survive when there always on fire? Like I see them sitting in the harbor for weeks and they don't completely burn into ashes. But then when someone attacks then they die.
Professor AppleBob: I feel like you are trying to provoke me. You know what I am done answering questions. *Punches computer, exits the room and slams the door behind him*
Noob: *Catches up to Professor AppleBob* Come back sir, I only have two more questions.
Professor AppleBob: Fine, but I am only answering two questions not anymore that you come up with afterwards.
Ground Troops
Noob: Why do all the troops look the same? All the slingers look identical and so do the rest of there foot soldiers. Do they all get plastic surgery? Or are they clones? Or even worse, is the world getting taken over by robots? *cowers in the corner*
Professor AppleBob: *Sigh* Where do you get these strange questions from. Look if every slinger or specific ground troop in your city looked different, then you would have 1000's of pictures on your screen.
Noob: But don't people always say, "A pictures worth a thousand words"?
Professor AppleBob: You know what I had it, forget about your last question. How about you just read the wiki and get some common sense!!!!!! *Knocks everything onto the floor, and storms out of the room*
Noob: Professor seems to be in a bad mood, wonder what is making him upset?
The Grepolis Academy
This is a school where new players can ask there questions to the wise professors who have been playing the game since it all started. The school was made with the goals to better educate new players, and help them better enjoy this game. Today, Professor AppleBob encounters one ambitious and clueless student who is unfamiliar with the game, and has many questions about some of the different features in Grepolis.
Colony Ship
Noob: I have a question about Colony Ships.
Professor AppleBob: What is your question?
Noob: Well I was looking at the unit info on a Colony Ship and saw there defensive value is 500. But how come when I got attacked with 1 Lightship yesterday I lost the Colony Ship I had sitting in my harbor.
Professor AppleBob: You fool, Colony Ships are not defensive ships. They are used to take other cities. *waves his arms angrily in the air*
Phoenician Merchant
Noob: Oh no there are pirates raiding my city?!?!?! They kidnapped some of my troops and are demanding ransom. They also took my resources and are selling them on the black market for ridiculously low prices. How is he attacking me, I thought I was in beginner's protection?
Professor AppleBob: Calm down there big guy, everything is alright. The Phoenician Merchant offers you troops at a cheaper price, he doesn't take then from you he brought them to your city in case you wanted to buy some of them. He also offers the resources at a cheaper price to help you build up your city, and he is not a pirate. He just trades with you in one of your cities.
Noob: So is he like Santa Claus? Can he also give me a unicorn now?
Professor AppleBob: *facepalm* No he is not like Santa Claus.
Noob: Oh almost forgot. Which city does he go to?
Professor AppleBob: Whichever he wants, how about you go ask him.
Resources
Noob: I have a question about the man, the one who works in the Silver Mine by himself.
Professor AppleBob: So what is your question?
Noob: How does he work 24/7 collecting silver out of the mine by himself. That is a difficult and tiresome job to do without eating. Do the gods give the strength to work an eternity without eating or resting?
Professor AppleBob: Oh Lord, please save me. *begging on his knees*
Noob: From what sir, those pirates?
Professor AppleBob: *facepalm* I already told you that the Phoenician Merchant is not a pirate, he just trades with you in one of your cities.
City Wall
Noob: I have a question about the city wall. Can I say it? It might be a bug.
Professor AppleBob: Just spit it out already.
Noob: Well I was looking and see that the city wall does not surround the whole city. So can't someone just send in a sneak attack from where the farm is and just loot the city like that without having to fight my army.
Professor AppleBob: No they can't send an attack like that and it is not a bug. *Sigh* I still have 5 more years left until I can retire.
Light Ships and Fireships
Noob: I was wondering what the light ships shoots out to destroy biremes. Is it orange juice? Or is it sneezing out cheese? If it is sneezing out cheese, should I take it to the hospital it might be sick?
Professor AppleBob: It is fire, isn't that kind of obvious. Also Light Ships aren't sick, they are doing what they were made to do!!!
Noob: Well I thought about that but it doesn't make any sense. I mean how come it isn't called a fire ship then.
Professor AppleBob: Because there is already a ship with that name they can't have two different ships with the same name.
Noob: Oh well that leads me to my next question which is about fireships. How do Fireships survive when there always on fire? Like I see them sitting in the harbor for weeks and they don't completely burn into ashes. But then when someone attacks then they die.
Professor AppleBob: I feel like you are trying to provoke me. You know what I am done answering questions. *Punches computer, exits the room and slams the door behind him*
Noob: *Catches up to Professor AppleBob* Come back sir, I only have two more questions.
Professor AppleBob: Fine, but I am only answering two questions not anymore that you come up with afterwards.
Ground Troops
Noob: Why do all the troops look the same? All the slingers look identical and so do the rest of there foot soldiers. Do they all get plastic surgery? Or are they clones? Or even worse, is the world getting taken over by robots? *cowers in the corner*
Professor AppleBob: *Sigh* Where do you get these strange questions from. Look if every slinger or specific ground troop in your city looked different, then you would have 1000's of pictures on your screen.
Noob: But don't people always say, "A pictures worth a thousand words"?
Professor AppleBob: You know what I had it, forget about your last question. How about you just read the wiki and get some common sense!!!!!! *Knocks everything onto the floor, and storms out of the room*
Noob: Professor seems to be in a bad mood, wonder what is making him upset?
