Epic Poetry Battles

[DeletedUser8396]

I dunno...just felt like tryin' something out. It may (and probably will) epicly fail, but meh.

What you do:

Write a SHORT poem and essentially call someone out on it and challenge em. Those two then duel it out in a poem battle.

Rules:

In posting your poem, put @[Username you are challenging/replying] at the beginning.

Poem must have a distinguishable rhyme or meter (I don't want sentences with line breaks )

Must be within forum rules and not mean. I will be checking this.

Lets go!

 

[DeletedUser44856]

@a pebble

Why look, a pebble is here
Being challenged by an amazing peer
The challenger is commander cuddles
Bout to be pushing pebble into some puddles
Can pebble resist?
But wait there's a twist
Pebble has already given up
Allowing the commander to drink from the victory cup

 

[DeletedUser44027]

How mean is "mean"? I mean, isn't this just like a rap battle?

 

[DeletedUser8396]

@C-Cuddles

I'm sorry...I can't top that

How mean is "mean"? I mean, isn't this just like a rap battle?

Yes, yes it is. mean, mean is a bit loose here. I don't want blatant insults like 'He's an idiot', but making a little fun is fine.

 

[DeletedUser44027]

@cuddles

Im a dignified champion,
Sexy as can be!
You wanna mess with pebbles,
First you gotta mess with me.
I'm gonna crush you, to dust,
Finer than the smallest dirt.
I'll wack you up for my main course,
And have your momma for dessert!


Might have been a little harsh, but I tried to keep it down.

 

[DeletedUser44856]

@dez

Another young pup stepping to the plate
Isn't it a shame he's a little to late
Claims to be champ
Looks to be a pretender
Dez your about as fun as a lamp
So please sit down before I put ya through the blender
This won't be pretty
As your not very witty

Look at him saving his boy pebble
I just glanced at you, oops seen you tremble
Mess with you?
Please you won't get a round two

 

[Varun]

@cuddles

Ooh, my head is in a muddle,
Over the fact that you are called cuddle,
You are a new hare,
With around 70 posts to bear,
So kick back and sit mum,
Like a bottle of a new rum.

Edit: This is a lot like the Youtube channel of Epic Rap Battles of History

 

[DeletedUser44027]

Yes, except they're much better at it

 

[DeletedUser44856]

@Varun

Of course you're in a muddle,
Cos boy you in all sorts a trouble'
Your lost in my rhyme,
Simply counting down your time.
You won't last long
Whew... Especially with that pong
I be after you now Varun
Quick better break into a run.

You stepped up to support Dez,
After I buried him like "meh to ez"
Now your both going down,
Made the wrong move.. Stepped into my town.
Go back home
Before you hurt yourself
This rhyming thing heck I wrote the tome
Just added another trophy up upon my shelf.

*Takes a bow*

 

[DeletedUser44856]

Think I can just move 3-0 Muhahaha

 

[Varun]

@cuddles

Yo man! You seem to pretty high up
Thinking that you can beat me up?
Blah! In your dreams,
Bursting your mental seams
I do not scare easily,
Don't try or you WILL fail - grisly

 

[DeletedUser44856]

@Varun

Not beat, squish,
You better be praying for a wish.
Just wake up and apologize,
This here, is MY franchise
I'm the thriller,
Varun killer.
Gave me the title of king,
Cos' I own this ring
Step before me and fall to your knees,
Your rhyming so weak, blown away by a breeze
You talk of me in a fail,
Better take this moment to address the whale.
Oh Var's mum take a step up
Yo sup?
Whats that Vars rhyme is weak,
While mine so sleek
Well thanks,
Moving me further up the ranks
Varun has fallen,
He over there all "st..st..stalling"
Get out them words,
Even though they are complete turds.
Take this chance to walk away
Cos I'm here to stay!

Hopefully no Varun's were hurt in the making of this verse

 

[Varun]

@Cuddles

Lol, cuddles you proclaim yourself to be a king,
But as fragile as a Ming
With one touch, I can break your up,
Your franchise fed to my pup.

Do not get delusions of this,
My rhyme is powerful, 'Tis
is a masterpiece,
A fine example,
Yours is nothing,
But a mere ramble

P.S. Please do not bring my mum into this. She is the only one I have and I hate to see someone giving an edge of tone to her. Sorry.

 

[DeletedUser44856]

@Varun

Ramble,
Your barely maintaining a shamble.
Meekly piecing together,
I'm sitting here in leisure,
Enjoying the weather,
Under no pressure,
Varun be all tender,
I'm here like the best treasure.
You talk of a masterpiece,
Sounds more of a gaggle of geese
Wanna join me at the top?
Wait, I'm never gunna stop
Your ship, already sunk,
Bunch o' junk.
Enjoy the bottom,
You wanna get out,
The steps to the ladder, oops I got em'
Make this easy, just quit
CC out
Enjoy ya pit

Understand fully, nothing more will be said

 

[Varun]

@ Cuddles

A pit?!
Lol, I was never in it
Instead it was an illusion,
A mastery of fusion,
Of reality and dreams,
Which led your confusion.

There should be a remote where you sit,
Press the button on it,
See the reality blowing your top-side
Your mind - a rockslide

Thanks ^_^

 

[DeletedUser33530]

Oh my God

 

[DeletedUser44027]

theses are actually very good

 

[DeletedUser33530]

 

[DeletedUser33530]

[USER]A pebble[/USER]

So your a pebble you say?
Shall I contrast thy from a summers day.
Thou art so puny that even the hulk doesn't bother to smash.
Then again why would he when I've already taken out this trash.
I'm the leader of an army, the great non-mods.
You're the puppet of Toucan, anyone else find that odd.?
So if you try to retort remember this thing
You just a grain of sand in this battle ring.



If anyone went blind from reading this horrible attempt I'm sorry but I'm not responsible for your foolish mistake of thinking I could write poetry

 

[DeletedUser]

cheater of death,
So you think you can really cheat death?
Well I bet you will start to sweat when you hear this rhyming threat.
You are about as harmless as the floor,
when you start to rhyme I feel like beating my head off a door.
You're poetry would even make children cry,
and I will try to make sure no one hears it anymore.